Reflections on Charleena Lyles: White People Stop Centering Yourselves

DCs79R6XsAA_FS_Last Sunday, Seattle was rocked by a police shooting of an African American woman. Charleena Lyles called the police to report a burglary at her apartment, two white police officers responded to the call. Many are asking how a call about a burglary ended with the death of an African American woman. Many in the community, especially in communities of color, are demanding that the deaths of African Americans and Black people stop.

The death has shaken our community again. The violent death of anyone, especially a person of color, should make us pause, and the death of an African American by the hands of an authority figure should make us absolutely stop. We need to stop, and white people especially need to stop. We need to stop posting to social media, we need to stop centering white people in these conversations, we need to stop the cycle of systemic racism and white privilege and power, and we need to stop shooting each other. We need to stop with the allyship theatrics, we need to double down on centering communities of color, especially African Americans/Blacks and the intersections of identity — mental health and disability, parenting, poverty, etc. In a conversation about race a week before the shooting a colleague said: “There should be a rule, the first five comments on posts about race [on Facebook] should be by people of color.” How different would the rest of the conversation be if we centered people of color and people of privilege listened?

White People Stop

White people, I want you to stop. Yes, there are times when we ask what you to be an ally, but I also want you to stop making racial tragedies and allyship about you. After the news of Charleena Lyles’ death, white people started posting and started shouting about institutional racism and how our systems failed her. In other words, abruptly YOU showed up and started caring. You showed up and took the focus away from Charleena and the African American community. You became a convenient ally. To your peers and others, it made you look good. And where were you the week before? Where were you in giving up something valued so people of color and other underserved groups can have a seat at the table? Spotting and calling out institutional racism isn’t easy and takes digging deep into looking at root causes and centering communities of color. I’m calling fakequity on your manipulative use of the tragedy. Being seen as an ally feels like you’re doing something, it makes you look good and it isn’t about you, you may even score some woke points. It is time for white people and pocs of privilege to stop and listen to African Americans and Blacks about racism and things that make us uncomfortable. Don’t wait for someone to die before you decide to inconvenience yourself with listening.

I’ve seen on Facebook where friends of color are calling out the injustice in the killing and white people, mostly white males, are quick to defend the police or say, ‘slow down and let the investigation happen.’ This silencing tacit is out of line and again centers the white institution rather than Charleena and her community. It isn’t necessary, white people read the post and reflect on it. You don’t have to agree, your job is to give space for people of color to say what we need to say.

White people, you are entitled to your opinions and stop shoving them in the faces of people who are hurting. We didn’t ask for your thoughts and opinions, we don’t need your whitesplaining. We hear your opinions daily. We live in a society where your thoughts cost people of color lives – sit with that thought for a while. White people, your fragile egos will be ok not sharing an opinion. If you need to talk it out, find other white people who can help you understand why we don’t want to hear about the investigation or why we shouldn’t be outraged. Yes, we often tell you to stop talking to white people, but in this case if you need to process don’t do it at the expense of people of color, doing so sucks up precious air and energy that should go into the healing of a community, don’t make your pain Black people’s pain.

Stop Focusing on You

If you need to do something, then do it, but don’t make a show out of it. Don’t post to Facebook or Twitter how outraged you are and how you are collecting donations, attending vigils, or are incensed. If you want to do these things, do them and do it quietly and reflectively. If you want to invite other people to join you, do so privately and with the intention of being an ally and not being a voyeur or taking up more energy that should be invested into communities of color. If you want to donate, do so but don’t make a big deal about it, save the savior mentality for another cause like trees and rescued animals. If you want to encourage others to give too then ask them through a personal relationship, we don’t need to see you being an ally, just be ally.

At the Othering and Belonging Conference an African American/Black speaker from Color of Change said, “presence doesn’t equal power.” His message was having a presence online, at a march or vigil, no matter how large or how many likes, doesn’t change power dynamics. White people, your existence in this conversation must be about you reflecting on what power you are holding whether knowingly or unknowingly and how you share it. Use your presence to follow the lead of the African American/Black community. Don’t take up their space, humble yourself and follow, do as asked respectfully and with humility. We will all be better when you create space to hear from others.

 

Posted by Erin Okuno, with thanks to Heidi, CiKeithia, and Minty whom I’ve never met and doesn’t know it but helped to influence this post.

 

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Guest Post: Representing the Underrepresented in Academia

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Editor’s Note: We welcome back guest blogger Lilliann Paine from Milwaukee, Wisconsin. She works in the public health field. Check out Lilliann’s first Fakequity blog post about being a Catalyst for Change.

Research is an important part of my academic experience. As an undergraduate at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, I applied and was selected to participate in the Ronald E. McNair Post-Baccalaureate Achievement Program. The McNair Scholars Program is one of several TRIO Programs historically funded by the U.S. Department of Education supporting the academic achievement from groups traditionally underrepresented in higher education.

**A program supporting academic achievement from groups traditionally underrepresented**

The McNair Scholars Program is where I got my feet wet in the pool of research and scholarship. If not for that research program experience, I would not have the current network of support I lean on…hard. Being a member of an underrepresented group is tough. Being a member of an underrepresented group and an academic is a huge responsibility. I aspire to be more than an inconsequential representation. I don’t want to burn out before my light can truly shine.

As a McNair Scholar, peers with similar aspirations and a shared lived experience, the experience of the traditionally underrepresented, surrounded me. This is a big deal because I’ve only attended Predominately White Institutions (PWI) since kindergarten.

As McNair Scholars, we were equipped to become Doctors of Philosophy—PhD! In fact, the goal was to complete doctoral studies. Through this program, I experienced:

  • A culture of excellence with the prioritization of leadership!
  • We were paired with Faculty level researchers (Mentors).
  • We received GRE preparation (standardized test you are required to take when applying to college).
  • We were tasked with a completing a mini-thesis (asking a research question and finding the answer through literature review and experimentation) with the expectation to defend at the end of our six-week summer program.

The McNair Scholars program is dedicated to preserving Dr. Ronald McNair’s legacy of scholarship and accomplishments. Dr. McNair was nationally recognized for his work in laser physics and was one of the thirty-five applicants selected by NASA from a pool of ten thousand. He became the second African-American to make a flight into space. He was a mission specialist on the space shuttle Challenger.

I was motivated to honor Dr. McNair’s legacy. I wanted my life’s work and research to answer tough questions about racism and its impact on health. I had hope that I could break down racial barriers like Dr. McNair and would become a trailblazer just like him!

Along the way, I must have romanticized the idea of leadership and collegiality. In the real world, academia provides an “ascription of intelligence” that requires “sanity checks.” A sanity check is an act of seeking out other POCs to help validate the existence of racial microaggressions to check perceptions of racists incidents.

Lilliann’s Personal Sanity Checks
Is this person an assigned mentor – someone who is telling me something that my boss doesn’t feel comfortable saying to me? Is this person a sponsor –someone who is a powerful advocate on my behalf when I cannot speak for myself?
Am I put in this workplace as a diversity quota? Am I put in charge as a leader with autonomy?
Is this work inclusive? Does the work further isolate those who experience marginalization?
Is this work in the name of equality? Is this work the practice of equity?
Is the goal to build a system? Is the goal to dismantle a system?

As an academic, I consider it a top priority to understand the concept of power and how that is confounded by the social construct of race, gender, and class. Within academia, at times, there is a lack of racial consciousness. Almost like a culture of race aversion—unless you are studying a discipline that explores racial consciousness. It’s important to understand racial fallacies exist and the minimization of racism (aka colorblindness) impacts leadership. Studies have shown that when women and non-whites talk about workplace diversity, they are punished. The desired change I would like to see in academia is a culture shift. The raised awareness and critical analysis of racial consciousness. That is the articulation of power and difference at the institutional level. From my experience as a person of color, I’ve learned that leadership can be lonely. However, when leadership is tethered to exceptionalism it is isolating.

As an emerging leader, I’ve held mid-level leadership roles in my short career. With each job, I was looking for the sense of community I had as a McNair Scholar. As one person, I cannot change an entire system. As I’ve learned more about leading for racial equity, I became familiar with the work of two racial equity practitioners: Gina Gulati-Partee and Maggie Potapchuk. They identified concrete ways change could happen at an institution. Through their experience, they acknowledged in order for an institution to work towards racial equity through their philanthropic investments and leadership, they must shine a light on white privilege and white culture both internally and externally. For me, at the root (within academia) it’s about working twice as hard to get half as much. The standard goes back to white and the concept of whiteness—long term objective is the need to heal from historical trauma and intergenerational effects of historical trauma.

What is the value of a TRIO Program these days? Is the long-term goal for higher education to reach transformative racial equity for students of color? Or is the long-term goal to create conditions for students of color to thrive? Or is the goal to do away with institutional racism?

Over ten years later, I am a champion for health equity, doing the difficult work of finding an alternative path based in the community, to meet health objectives while embracing equity. McNair worked for me! We need to continue funding programs that create a pipeline to leadership within academia, business and the trades especially for those that underrepresented. Our collective futures depends on the success of the most vulnerable and underrepresented.

Stop Calling Everything Equity

stop pandaHave you noticed how everyone is saying “it’s an equity issue.” Every time I hear the phrase a part of my soul grows darker and more cynical. The poor term equity has become the diversity of the 1990s and the equality of the 2000s. Equity is now a popular and overexposed term and people are using it incorrectly. We need to stop labeling every problem as an equity problem and begin to use the word correctly. One way to begin to use it correctly is to link a root cause and identify a structural barrier to the equity problem statement.

Let me break this down into less wonky talk. Often when there is a policy problem or an advocacy group wants to make an ask, someone will say “It’s an equity issue! The poor kids need [fill in the blank] because they don’t have enough [blank]. Everyone, especially poor kids of color, will benefit when we do this [because rising tides lift all boats or when they do better we all do better].” For fun watch the public testimony during a school board meeting and someone, probably a white person, will use this formula as they make their ask. What this statement formula fails to do is make the connection back to race and the racialized formation of the problems. White people (and some pocs) become lazy and don’t do their work around understanding how race is connected to root causes and how it is tied to institutional and systemic racism.

Root Causes and Structural Barriers

If you want to make an ‘equity’ argument do your work to understand how the problem came about. The problems facing people and communities of color and marginalized communities (e.g. disabled, LGQTBTIA, etc.) today are often rooted in past decision making. Peter Senge’s famous line in the book the Fifth Discipline says: “Today’s problems come from yesterday’s solutions.” Today’s racialized problems can be traced back to decisions made in the past.

Understanding root causes of today’s problems means looking at how problems evolved for communities of color. As examples segregation is a byproduct of red-lining which traces its roots to white people not wanting people of color in their neighborhoods because of fear and elitism, achievement gaps are rooted in how the education was originally designed to serve (white businessmen who spoke English), unemployment for people of color is often tied to education levels and we’ve already established the public school system was originally designed for white people.

In unpacking the root cause of the problem you’re looking at, you might determine the problem you’re working on isn’t really an ‘equity’ problem. Don’t use the equity word because you want to get some points towards the Woke Awards, like the Academy Awards for Wokeness. And definitely don’t use the word equity to get street cred in the Woke Wars, look at me I’m so badass for working on this hard ‘equity’ project.

Once a root cause is determined, look at the structural barriers in place that need to be undone. The structural barriers are the policies, practices, beliefs, and norms in place. Often data can help to identify barriers, and with some solid thinking, the structural parts can be identified.

Stop Calling Things Equity When They Aren’t

Not everything should be called equity. I spent most of yesterday and today working on advocacy around school buses. Many are calling it an ‘equity issue’ because it impacts low-income students of color. While students of color will be dispropriately impacted by the problem, it is a district wide problem. The solutions proposed by the parent activist are not rooted in principles racial equity. The solutions are equality based, spend money to give everyone the same; in this case, spend $2.3m to provide buses for students. It is a misnomer to label it is an equity problem when we’re not also talking about the root causes and the structural barriers students of color are facing around getting to school.

It also annoys many of us when the ‘equity’ solutions presented are not actually equity-based. Providing a bus/book/thing to everyone isn’t equity, that is equality (giving everyone the same). If we look at the root cause of the problem and the structural barriers in place an equity based solution would determine people of color may need and want something different than a universal/same/equal solution.

Equity is Special, Stop Calling Everything Equity

Please, I implore you, to stop calling everything equity. The word equity means something special and let’s continue to let the word be exceptional in decrying its needs. If you need another word to use, then stop and think hard before choosing something to use in its place.

If you need something that will get people’s attention learn how to call out racism, especially institutional racism. There is a lot of that going around and institutional racism could use some labeling and shout outs instead of equity. Maybe by calling out racism, we’ll begin to see more equity based problem solving happen.

Posted by Erin Okuno, hat-tip to Heidi for the topic

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How to Design an Equity Centered Conference

Before we start we need to reflect for a moment on what’s happened over the past week. In Portland, OR, in many ways a sister city to our Seattle, two men were stabbed in the throat and died at the hands of another man who was spouting white nationalist beliefs. During this holy month of Ramadan, I hope we can practice charity, a pillar of Islam, back to our Muslim sisters and brothers.

In our home state of Washington, Jimmy Smith-Kramer, a Native American, was murdered at a campground when he and a friend asked a white man to stop making donuts with his truck. The truck driver yelled hateful words and ran over Jimmy and his friend.

Moral outrage and indignant Facebook posts won’t end racism. I don’t have the answers, I wish I did. I do have faith in our community to bring more progress and not let these hateful crimes become the norm.

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I’ve attended a lot of conferences lately and have taken notes about what makes a good event and what annoys me. A lot of what makes a good event has to do with how it is designed. Just putting the word equity into the name of an event or saying the word five times during the introduction doesn’t mean the event is achieving equity.

Before we start I need to own and share my biases. When I see an invite come through my email I try to figure out if it will be worth my time. If I see the word ‘equity’ somewhere in the title I give it extra scrutiny.

As an example, last year I sort of dragged Heidi and our other colleague Mindy to the Governor’s Summit on Equity (or some name like that). The event was focused on equity and there was lots of equity talk, but it was at such a basic level I didn’t learn much about how to deepen my work. I ended up with a lot of notes about what not to do. We still talk about that event and how poorly certain parts of it were designed and how to avoid those literal pitfalls. When I say literal pitfalls, I really mean it someone fell off the stage during the closing session.

 

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Body language says a lot, photo by a colleague

 

Lesson One: Clearly describe what the sessions and panels are focused on

Breakout sessions can make or break a conference. Lately, I’ve had more misses than hits on breakout sessions partially because the session descriptions aren’t very through. At conferences, I try to attend sessions that aren’t education sector based so I can hear from completely different speakers and perspectives. The session title and description at the Gov’s Sumit was along the lines of Race, Policing and Community Accountability. When the panel started the moderator allowed the conversation to only talk about African Americans and Blacks and law enforcement, an important emphasis but not what was in the title. It wasn’t until the question and answer portion when audience members opened the conversation to ask about what policing looked like with Latino, Asian, Native American and other communities of color that the conversation broadened. Had the description been clear that the focus would be on African American and Blacks we would have known to expect a conversation focused on African American and Black communities and been able to be allies. With the vague description, the question and answer time wasn’t focused and in many ways it squandered what could have been a deeper push and call to action.

Lesson two: Stop with the all-male (white) panels

Sitting with Heidi at conferences is kind of fun. I watch her get annoyed and start scribbling notes in her conference handbook or on her iPad. During two different conferences, she made the remark “people need to stop having all-male panels.” After watching for the power dynamics that Heidi inherently noticed I saw what she meant.

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All-Male Panel with a Hoffsome thumbs up

All-male panels, including all poc male panels, cater to the same power dynamics we see in dominant society. This includes one person talking too much, or the panelist don’t allow for dissenting views in constructive ways, or panelist want to show what they know instead of building on other panelist ideas, or they start name dropping and cred-upping (I think that might be a new term, showing off your credentials or trying to over cred other speakers). This website catalogs all-male panels, Hoffsome thumbs up to whoever created it.

Instead of having all-male panels, be inclusive and work to find a woman of color to join the panel. Having a woman of color on the panel brings a different perspective and different views on the same topic. If we think back to last week’s blog post about creating Color Brave Spaces, this falls under creating space for multiple truths and stories. By designing the panel to look not only at racial equity but also gender diversity panels look differently and bring different perspectives forward.

Lesson Three: Center and Design for People of Color, White people will be ok without being the focus

I was recently on a call with a national organization talking about their upcoming conference. They described wanting to focus on change but without a deep racial equity focus. Before we ended the call, I said “I’ve been to national conferences where people talk about change without centering racial equity. For the people of color in the room, it is really frustrating to have to sit through race-neutral conversations and know we should go deeper.” I knew my comment wasn’t going to change the outcome but I wanted the organizers to have to sit with that thought. Events planners need to center people of color in the design of the event. White people will benefit from not having an event centered on their needs, there are enough other spaces where we can talk about the needs of white people.

Lesson Four: Go deep, don’t waste time with equity lite

I’m tired of equity lite conversations. I don’t want to go to conferences where we are “scratching the surface” or we can’t use words like “white,” “white supremacy,” or I must watch Race the Power of Illusion again (it is good, but I’ve seen it many times now), or we have to define equity versus equality – these are trainings, not conferences. I want to be pushed in my thinking and not sit there and wonder if the lunch menu will have a decent vegan/vegetarian lunch option.

Going back to lesson three, design the conference for racial equity which means talking about what people of color want to talk about. White people may be a little lost and defensive but they will be ok and eventually catch up to the conversation. White people aren’t fragile, you all are strong so use that strength for good and learn about something other than yourselves.

I want meaningful conversations about understanding race, racism, institutional power, how to undo racism. We all live race every day, let’s be real in having thought-provoking speakers who can address racial equity, racial justice, and diverse and divergent thoughts in productive ways.

Posted by Erin Okuno

Color Brave Space — How to run a better equity focused meeting

Today is the start of Ramadan​. Ramadan Mubarak to many of our partners.

This blog post has been a long time coming. We’ve punted this one back and forth for months. Someone will approach Heidi and say: “I really like your Color Brave Space. Can I get a copy and use it?” She’ll say: “Go ask Erin to blog about it.” Or someone will come to the Southeast Seattle Education Coalition meeting and say: “I really like the Color Brave Space table tents, can I take it?” and Erin says “No, no taking the table tents. Tell Heidi to blog about it since she’s the creator of Color Brave Space. And stop stealing my table tents — bad karma will come your way!” We’ll quit cross-referring and write the blog post.

Heidi has been conducting racial equity trainings for over a decade. In that time, she’s had groups come up with their own group norms, used ‘safe space’ agreements, and lots of other standard meeting practices. What she found was those types of meeting norms cater to whiteness. They allow the status quo to continue and don’t push people, both white people and people of color, to understand their roles in undoing racism and challenging long held beliefs. Erin attends a lot of meetings with standard group norms and often sighs and wishes she could refocus the group with the Color Brave Space.

There are elements of ‘safe space’ agreements that we agree with such as ‘respect’ and ‘confidentiality.’ However, too often safe space translates into too comfortable for white people and they take safe to mean, ‘don’t threaten my ways of thinking’ or don’t make me feel uncomfortable. Safety and comfort are the norm for white people, but you can’t be safe and comfortable to learn and grow.

Racial equity work should make us all think and challenge us to think and accept new information. Racial equity work is also about changing systems and centering the experiences and voices of people and communities of color. The Color Brave Space format when used correctly creates a different norms which allows this to happen more easily and readily.

Color Brave Space image

To help you understand the elements/principles we will go a little more in-depth into a few of them.

Put Relationships First – Work to build community and trust with an awareness of power dynamics.

This is about trust building, connecting on a personal level, and helping us humanize each other, especially during conversations that are deeply personal, uncomfortable, and fraught with racialized mistrust. We also remind people trust is built over time so the meeting or training you are in is only the start and people should do the harder work of connecting outside of the meeting as well.

Keep Focused on Our Common Goal – We care deeply about [insert your mission], especially those who are directly impacted by racism. [This line can be your mission instead of filling in the blank.]

Heidi almost always emphasizes this principle, because this is why we are all here. You can personalize it to your organization’s mission or goal. It is important for everyone, even the facilitator to know that you are all there in pursuit of a common goal. When sharing it remind people we are all on the same team. Racial equity work is about reaching the common goal, not a ‘gotcha’ or ‘you’re a bad person’ sort of thing, it is about the work and getting to a common equitable outcomes.

Notice Power Dynamics in the Room – Be aware of how you use your privilege: From taking up too much emotional and airtime space, or disengaging.

We emphasize this one because power shows up in many different ways that people may not be conscious of. There are the obvious forms of power, who talks a lot, who uses their title, or when Erin facilitates she say “I am standing in the front of the room and speaking, I have a lot of power in this moment.” Power isn’t always bad, but it needs to be acknowledged and kept in check.

Some of the ways power shows up that are less obvious are things like who disengages or focuses all of the attention on them when things get uncomfortable. This person is the one who maybe keeps leaving the room to take a call, or picks up their phone and plays with it during the middle of the meeting, or argues or tells long personal stories to defend their ways of thinking. These are forms of using power which doesn’t advance the group agenda.

The best example of an unrecognized power is most of the time in dominant society (white) spaces, we are literally using ‘academic English’ as the tool or language of power. So if English is your first and primary language you will be able to participate quicker, more comfortably, and with deeper nuance. As an example, we have the Color Brave Space translated into Spanish. Erin once had a native Spanish speaker in an otherwise all English speaking room, read the Color Brave Space in Spanish. English only speakers looked uncomfortable because all of a sudden couldn’t understand what was happening though the written English translation was provided. It was a great reminder about the power of language.

Create Spaces for Multiple Truths and Norms – Speak your truth, and seek understanding of truths that differ from yours, with awareness of power dynamics.

A couple weeks ago, Erin signed me (Heidi) up for a meditation class. I’m not sure what she was trying to tell me, but I went despite knowing that I had a preconceived opinion that I don’t really like to meditate. But since Erin signed me up, I tried to stay open. Honestly, it was a struggle. But I am glad I went. I appreciated the instructor shared a Buddhist perspective about working hard to be in a “middle place.” Our brains are wired to be constantly judging (you’ve probably already decided if you like this blog piece or not, I guess if you’re still reading, you must like it), but the key is to use our conscious mind to not just fall directly into your immediate judgement and stay open to the ‘middle place.’ As a side note, I am still not sold on meditating, but willing to stay open to working on the practice. Erin’s note to Heidi: meditation like racial equity work takes practice, if you try meditation again you might resist it less, or we can try to meditate during happy hour.

When Erin facilitates she often reminds people that this shows up when people want to pit policies against people’s lived experiences. Sometimes when things get heated a person with formal power/authority may dismiss another person’s story by saying “Well, the policy says this so that couldn’t have happened,” or “I need evidence…” We need to consciously create space to allow people to share different perspectives and work to figure out the systems creating the discrepancies.

Be Kind and Brave – Remember relationships first, and work to be explicit with your language about race, class, gender, immigration, etc.

One of the greatest disservices we have done to conversations about systemic racism is use coded and ambiguous language like ‘diversity, culture, inclusion, or equity.’

Be clear in your language — when you say equity are you talking about racial equity or gender equity? This vague language actually prevents us from having an effective conversation. So let’s work to be specific with our language, and ask for clarification from others when we hear them use terms like diversity, culture, or equity. Along with being kind and brave, remember we need to build relationships for the long haul so use your language in ways that builds bridges.

Practice Examining Racially Biased Systems and Processes – Individual actions are important, and systems are what are left after all the people in this room leave.

Most of these processes and systems in place are ones we’ve inherited. They existed before us, and will continue to exist after we are all gone if we don’t examine and redesign them. It is important to remember we need to work at a systems level, so while the work may feel personal it isn’t about you it is about undoing institutional and systemic racism.

Look for Learning – Show what you’re learning, not what you already know. Avoid playing devil’s advocate, the devil has enough advocates.

Educators call this having a growth mindset. We all continue to have to continue to learn about dismantling racist systems. The best way to create a learning community is to show what we are learning, not what we already know. Heidi asks people explicitly not to play devil’s advocate; this is a use of power to control the conversation. If you really are thinking of an unpopular idea that you should be able to say what is on your mind, while also being open to others sharing counter narratives. If you want to play devil’s advocate or argue, the meeting/training isn’t the place to do it, doing so is hoarding power. Instead take Heidi out for a beer, but no PBR, just the good stuff. Erin will warn you though if you try to play devil’s advocate with Heidi you are likely to lose, she’s good I have yet to win an argument, unless it is about something like food.

Here are suggestions for using the Color Brave Space Principles (Elements) –

  1. Post them, share them, and take the time to actually read through them (slow down to hear them)- They are meant to help us visualize the type of space we want to create together, so they aren’t helpful if you don’t actually take the time to acknowledge and emphasize them. We often ask the group to popcorn style read them (one bold statement with the italic sentence below) until we hear them all. This way folks are actually paying attention and hearing different people’s voices. 
  2. Pick a few to dig into and give some specific examples of what you want participants to be aware of. See deeper explanations above. I encourage you to add your own personalization and stories.
  3. Highlight certain ones throughout the workshop that you want to emphasize for a specific exercise or conversation.
  4. Hold your group accountable to the principles/elements. This means sometimes stopping a conversation and explaining why, see some of the examples above.
  5. One final ask is credit Equity Matters when you use them.

Let us know how you’ve used them. Share how they impacted your meetings. Offer additions or adaptations.

Finally, we must acknowledge and thank Mellody Hobson who introduced the concept of being color brave in her TED Talk. Give the TED talk a watch, then listen to it again for deeper meaning.

We have Color Brave Space table tents available in PDF format in English and Spanish, other translations may come in the future. The PDF is available for a small donation of $11 generic version as it is in the image or $24 custom (your mission inserted) to Southeast Seattle Education Coalition or a gift (no tax deduction) to fakequity, please email fakequity@gmail.com for details and the PDFs.

By Heidi Schillinger and Erin Okuno

Asian American Solidarity — Part II

Editor’s Note: Last week we published Part I of this anonymous blog post. This is the second part. A special thanks to our colleague for this series. 

As a side note, for those of you who subscribe to the blog, thank you. I suggest checking the blog for the latest version of the post. The online version is more up to date and often times with minor grammatical corrections and edits to make it a more pleasant reader experience. The subscription button is on the right sidebar.

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Solidarity fist with words. Art work from Amplifer Foundation

Dr. David Dao refused to give up his seat so that he could return home to his family and his patients. His strength and the violent response to it set off a chain reaction of news events and associated emotions within me. I’ve been Dr.Dao. I’ve been asked to give up what I believe is mine. To work extra hours. To accept less or nothing. I’ve looked around to see who else. Who else received this treatment? Who else is getting exploited? Who else can play the sucker? And does anyone else even notice? Does anyone else even care? For me this is part of what it means to be a Person of Color in the US and especially an Asian in America.

Reactions were quick and varied. As the videos began to spread, first came the non-apology. Then the woke jokes started calling out United Airlines and the Chicago Police Department. Then the “international,” “Chinese,” or “some minorities” responses swelled to the point that stock prices broke, more apologies were issued, and amends were self-interestedly made. Was this justice? Sort of. Did we get attention? Briefly, but it was better than nothing. Did we see Asians and allies mobilize into activism? YES. I am thankful for this. And I was surprised. And if I’m really honest, I even felt a bit guilty. Why?

Because even before Dr. Dao I lived with the tensions that 18% of our Asians still voted for 45 [Trump], and more of us need to be at the next #BLM [Black Lives Matter], #NoBanNoWall, and #WaterIsLife meetings. Because solidarity, right? And this is real. And this is our work. And this is White Supremacy. And thus this hurts. And then there’s this …

In several different spaces – on social media, in PoC gatherings, and in one-on-one conversations – non-Asian PoC have said something to the effect of “What happened to Dao was racist, BUT if he wasn’t Asian but another PoC he’d be dead.” Or “It’s good that Dao’s getting paid, BUT if he wasn’t Asian but another PoC he’d be getting less if anything at all.” And. I. Flipped. Out.

I could take you through the blow-by-blow here, but PoC – you know how this went down, and white people, I’m not going to put any more of our internal business out there. In fact, I know some PoC are going to push me about why I’m even putting this out there. Here’s why.

This isn’t the first time this has happened. This won’t be the last time this happened. This is how white supremacy is upheld in 2017.

Racism is real. Settler-colonialism is real. Anti-blackness and colorism are real. Islamophobia and White-Judeo-Christian dominance are real. Xenophobia and nativism are real. Orientalism and its grandchildren the model minority and perpetual foreigner myths are real. Many of us, Dr. Dao and myself, wouldn’t even be here if it weren’t for trillions of US dollars spent on decades of war and dictatorship on the Asian continent. And for us this is where the lateral violence began, when the faces and fingers behind those triggers were disproportionately other folks of color.

This is how we’ve been set up against one another. None of our issues get enough attention. We all want to be heard and even more, we all need and deserve justice. With the weight of the pain and oppression we are holding, when our people, our struggles, and our work aren’t recognized, we get triggered. And when it’s other folks of color who get the attention, who rise up with power, and who get a glimmer of justice, we get triggered. And when the oppression of my group triggers someone because of the oppression of their group, I get triggered. Right back at them.

Over the last month of living this dynamic, I’ve stayed up way too late, eaten way too many fries, and written and deleted too many emails, text messages, and social media posts to be healthy, my whole self, and in just relationship with others because of this cycle of triggering. It’s part Oppression Olympics and part Woke Off. I’ve tried to squeeze the entirety of anti-Asian oppression into 140 characters even though I know that you can’t even start the conversation without reading all 368 pages of Edward Said. And I’ve had it all come back at me from other voices and other experiences. It’s just not possible.

And this is why it can feel like we can’t have real solidarity.

And I have had to repeatedly remind and recenter myself – that this is all because of white supremacy. White supremacy started the Crusades and dropped the bombs and funded the dictators and modeled all of us as minorities. White supremacy planted the flags, sailed the slave ships, wrote the Constitution, and constructed the sweatshops, ghettos, reservations, and “third world.” White supremacy built all this and then remodels itself when we go after each other in trying to compare our oppression. We take turns fighting for the spotlight by claiming the ways and moments when our oppression is the worst of all time. We get incensed when our oppression isn’t named but other people’s are. And even when we are able to call for an end to the Oppression Olympics, white supremacy then cashes in by saying All Lives Matter and that all of us suffer in one way or another, so let’s just be equal. That’s what white supremacy does. That’s why white supremacy is white supremacy. We do the work. White supremacy reaps the rewards.

To the white folks reading this – I need your leadership within your communities to address the ways in which you have pitted peoples of color against one another. This is more than diversifying your musical tastes or even showing up at a protest and posting continuously on social media. This is about acknowledging that one reason white supremacy still reigns is because of the way it has categorized and contained folks of color into such different cages that not only can we not come together in solidarity but we actually go at each other. And we’re still going. And you can just step back and watch us and pretend like it’s not because of you. What we need instead is for you to recognize how deep this oppression goes, how what you started is now beyond you. We need you to use this to further motivate you to address each and all the mechanisms of white supremacy. This is your work. Do it.

As folks of color, we are so much more than white supremacy created and needs us to be. We need to know our own stories. We need to hear one another. We survived and thrived as a thousand unique and yet interconnected communities before white supremacy ever existed. We each have developed our own methods of resistance and resilience that have not always been perfect, and yet we are still here. We need to appreciate what each of us specifically needs, and commit to supporting the fulfillment of all of these needs. We need to acknowledge those moments where we’ve been complicit and where we’ve been complacent as others have been oppressed. There are times where I’ve wondered if this is too ambitious or unreasonable. And then moments like this happen, and I remember, inaction is a form in action. If we don’t take the time to tend to and repair our relationships, we will only continue to trigger one another continuously. We’re better than that. We deserve more. Let’s do this.

And so we need solidarity.

Asian American Reflections on Solidarity — Part I

Editor’s Note: When we started the Fakequity blog we reserved the right to publish anonymous pieces. This week we are publishing the first in a two part series written by a colleague who wishes to remain anonymous. We strive to have the majority of our blog posts as authored pieces, however the author has decided adding a name would not be prudent. We believe the views and voice in this piece are valuable and should be shared.

Jess-X-Chen_Portfolio8

[Mother holding young child connected by vein from heart to heart, near ocean with birds flying] Artwork by Jess X Snow, Amplifier Foundation, amplifier.org

As an Asian American in social justice spaces, I spend a lot of time thinking about solidarity.

I grew up with a strong sense of my Taiwanese ethnic identity in my family and religious communities. As a child, I didn’t see this as being political or racial. It was just us being us. It was cultural. It was relational. Now, twenty years after my childhood, I find myself replaying my memories in my mind and constantly finding new edges to those experiences. I’ve come to realize because we were being Taiwanese in America, everything we were and did was racialized and thus political.

It was in school I learned how to see, experience, and name my place in systemic racism. Specifically it was four Black educators who taught me during elementary school, middle school, and college, and who called me in as a fellow person of color. Each of them shared not only about the oppression they faced but how they survived, resisted against, and thrived in spite of it. Some of my experiences were similar to theirs – e.g. working twice as hard to get half as far. Many were not – e.g. when and how our peoples arrived here. Still, I see my rise in social justice agency starting here, and so l begin this piece by appreciating my ethnic communities for being my first home base and these Black educators for catalyzing my growth as a person of color.

Strange as it might sound, I didn’t see myself as an Asian American until I became an educator. I checked the Asian box on paperwork and I recognized the people I looked most like. Growing up, though, I believed checking that box would put me at a disadvantage to all the other boxes, and I avoided other Asian Americans because I wanted to be seen as just me (years later I would learn to call this “internalized oppression”). As a teacher, I ran out of places to run when word spread that I was the young Asian history teacher, and Asian students would start passing my classroom to see if it was true. They started to share stories of being racialized, about the jokes they heard, the physical bullying they received, and the assumptions their teachers made about their lives and learning while ignoring the harm being done to them. Many of these stories were familiar to me, and I was surprised when I acknowledged this, healing began to take place both for my students and myself.

At first I thought that this was all that I could do – share my stories and let them know I survived and so could they. The more I saw, though, the more I understood our experiences weren’t just painful, they were also unjust. And to be our whole selves, survival was not enough. We needed to resist. Thankfully, I knew about resistance from my more established identity as a person of color and work in social justice. I knew how to see systemic oppression at work, how to bring people together, and how to build coalitions. I also need to say here, the older I’ve gotten, the more I recognize this training also came from my family and ethnic community – how to move through the world with multiple frameworks, how to be a good host, and how to present a united front. Not everything clicked perfectly. The structural and policy changes I had worked for – homes for all, living wages, and restorative classroom justice – weren’t as obvious priorities to me at the time for my Asian students.

My students were split between seeing themselves as people of color, wanting to be white, and actively working to be neither. Some literally wanted to be ghosts – there but unseen. And most wanted so badly not to be American – which most were – but to be seen and treated as Americans. We fight for recognition here, bringing spring rolls, bubble tea, yoga and singing bowls to share – feeding notions that we are but perpetual foreigners trading goods. Let us in, and we’ll give these up to be appropriated and commodified away. We’ll give up critical claim to our Asian homelands where our peoples have experienced and continue to experience the bulk of the racialized violence against us. We give too generously to show that we will do no harm, and we are overly grateful to gain acceptance for being allowed here. In doing this, we forget that what we should be grateful for is survival. We’ve survived, and we’ve buried the bodies, but hopefully not the memories of those killed and tortured by radiation and napalm and drones and dictators. And still – to humbly borrow from Maya Angelou – still we rise.

And so this is about solidarity.

Othering and Belonging

Happy Japanese Kodomo no Hi day, 5 May (5/5). Japanese Children’s or Boys Day. Growing up we fly Koinobori, carp flags. Japanese Girls Day was 3 March (3/3) in case you are wondering. If you want to read more and share a book with a kid about these holidays pick up this one.

candlelightHeidi and I are back from the Haas Institute’s Othering and Belonging Conference. The conversations from the conference flowed through breaks, over meals, and through what Heidi calls sam-cha. Sam-cha in Korean means round-three. Third-round of drinks and conversation, sure why not. Through these conversations with our friends and colleagues, we talked about how to push ourselves to create more belonging and force systems to create equitable change.

This week I’m not going to write an analysis of the conference or talk about the technical lessons learned. Maybe in a few weeks Heidi or I will get to the analysis piece. I try to balance this blog with technical pieces as well as narratives and stories because they both matter in equity work.

Returning to Seattle has popped the conference bubble. Nothing busted that bubble more quickly than hearing sirens and helicopters flying close to my house on Wednesday evening. A shooting left one women dead, and another shot. Less than an hour later there were reports of another shooting five minutes away, and overnight another shooting took place near the University of Washington.  Today brought a stabbing again near where I work and live. It isn’t even summer yet when the heat brings out crimes such as these.

While watching the 11.00 p.m. news the reporter said the detectives were using battery operated candles to mark where the bullet casings fell. The irony of using candles to mark bullets, when candles are often used to mark life through birthdays and remembrance, wasn’t lost on me. It brought home much of what I had learned at the conference and why belonging means so much and why we need to respect and create space for others.

Dollar-Bills and a Hug

Professor john a. powell (he doesn’t capitalize his name), the conference host, made closing remarks in the form of stories. One of his stories was about how he invited homeless people to live on his property when they were evicted and moved around by the city. Over time he got to know them and would help them out by giving them money or other goods. His help wasn’t fixing systems or public policies around homelessness, but it created a sense of community and humanized his neighbors.

In his story, he talked about how one day one of the homeless residents greeted him and said “whatcha got today,” Professor powell reached out to give her some money, it was part of their way of being together. Instead of just accepting the money she said “Can I have something else from you? May I have a hug?” Professor powell paused and asked himself if he wanted to give her, a homeless person, a hug. In that moment, he saw her as an ‘other,’ the overall belonging they co-created was being tested. The belonging had limits and was on Prof. powell’s terms, the bond was being tested. After a moment, he gave her the hug. More than money she wanted to be seen and wanted physical human contact.

When I heard this story, I thought about The Book of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World, by Archbishop Desmond Tutu and the Dalai Lama. Throughout the book the narrator talks about how these two holy-men continually held hands or embraced. Physical contact and connection isn’t something we do a lot of in racial equity work, we play it safe with talking, rule-making, and in some cases like this blog writing. What I took away from this was we need to challenge ourselves to do what several speakers spoke to “We can see people for more than just one thing at a time” or as Alicia Garza said “We can walk and chew gum at the same time… We can see people as they are and how they want to be seen.”

This story stuck with many of us. Right after the conference we gathered our bags and decided to grab an early dinner before heading to the airport. We walked a block and Heidi pulled out her phone to look at Yelp to find a place to eat. As she was consulting the app, a person of color with limited English walked up to us and said “My Asian sisters can you help me out? I’m looking for a job and I just had an interview. I need $3 to take a bus so I can make it to the shelter for the night.” While we stood there listening to the man we all started mentally asking ourselves “do we give him money?” Many of us have been conditioned to say, “I’m sorry” and ignore the person until they move on. Even at the conference we heard repeatedly we need to work on systems level changes, personal and interpersonal actions are important but we need to get to systems changes if we want to see progress. Helping one person won’t fix homelessness. Yet in that moment the story about humanizing and contact was fresh in our minds and we had a choice to make.

We all gave him a dollar or a few coins, enough for him to have money for the bus. We didn’t give him a hug but we got closer to him than we would have a day before. I know I saw him as more of a person because I allowed myself to do so, I also knew I had my team around me to create safety and comfort for me. I was ready to give but mostly because I was safe and it didn’t cause me too much discomfort; I know I don’t want to bring physical or mental harm to myself (been there done that, I was mugged last year) but I think there is a way to create belonging less on my terms and more in recognition of how others want to be seen which may require less safety and comfort on my part.

Back in Seattle

Now that I’m back in Seattle and my city had a 24-hour spate of violence I think of those damn battery operated candles. The police used those candles to mark where violence took place, where a life was violently taken.

Instead of using candles to mark death can we hold up a candle to ourselves and ask what belonging are we creating, what othering are we forcing, or inversely what othering are we not respecting (i.e. arts, LGQBT, etc.)? What sense of negative space are we holding and what narratives are being written in these spaces?

If we think about candles again instead of using them to mark violence, please hold a candle to someone else and say I see you. In the South African Zulu word ubuntu – humanity, I am because we are, you seeing someone will not diminish you or your place in the world it will make us all stronger.

Posted by Erin Okuno

Can we stop using the box graphic when we talk about racial equity?

XYears ago, I first encountered this graphic showing a visual distinction between equality and equity. It quickly started making the rounds on social media, in presentations, and even in my own presentation slide deck. But something about it never quite resonated with me. I had a hard time articulating why I didn’t think this was the best way to depict the important differences between equity and equality. Erin and I had numerous conversations about the graphic, I even drew some alternatives (with kids in deep holes). But, what Erin correctly pointed out is that this graphic is simple and easy to understand without words. I like text, so this poses a challenge to thinking about an easy-to-understand alternative.

In the last few years, I finally figured out what I don’t like about this graphic and all the adaptations it has inspired. I continue to show it in my workshop, but with a big red X over the picture. I tell participants I don’t like this picture as a way to talk about the difference between equality and equity, specifically racial equity. I ask people to guess why this might be a problematic way to visualize equity. Pause for a moment and ask yourself why this might be misleading graphic and then come back to the post.

What did you come up with? Usually, taking this time to slow down and reflect on why it might be problematic helps us see things that we might not have otherwise noticed. Usually, people mention things such as “the kids are all white” or “they are at a baseball game” or “there is a fence there.” Other smart people noticed these things as well, and have recreated the image to have all black kids, kids at a soccer game, and kids without any fence in front of them.

I realized that what I don’t like about this picture is the “equity” slide is accommodating for height differences. It is perpetuating the differences we are trying to address with equity are inherently biological. It continues this dangerous narrative that racial equity is “helping” people of color and communities of color because we are inherently and biologically deficient. I want to be clear accommodations for physical differences such as height or learning styles is important work. In the education world, this is called differentiation – but this is not racial equity. In fact, the subtle and probably unconscious narrative reinforces the racists ideas that “people of color are not as smart, not as motivated, and not as qualified, and need help to succeed.” It is why I often hear people say things like:

  • If we let all students of color into advanced placement classes, we’ll be lowering the bar.
  • It’s their parents fault. They don’t care enough.
  • This focus on diversity means qualified white people won’t get in or get hired.

Yes, seriously people still say things like this. And, then there are the Fakequity statements from white allies and some people of color:

  • There are not enough qualified people of color.
  • You’re so articulate. You’re good with data and charts.
  • I know they can do higher level math, but we don’t want to add more stress to their already stressful lives. 
  • Asian kids are so obedient they do well in school because they follow the rules.

If you’re having a hard time figuring out why the last set of examples are Fakequity, engage others, preferably people of color, in a dialogue about what they hear or what assumptions are being made in the statements.

Racial equity is about eliminating racism

Equity is the outcome when race will no longer be a predictor of health, education, income, etc. Right now, we can predict graduation rates, discipline data, advanced placement participation, criminal justice involvement, and health outcomes based on race. We can predict community meeting attendance, contractors, grant awards based on race. Achieving racial equity means these predication based on race are gone.

The subtle and insidious systemic racism wants us all to believe the reason race predicts these outcomes is because people of color don’t work as hard, don’t have as good of parents, don’t have enough grit, don’t spend enough time and money on the “right” things. This is why even in the name of “racial equity” schools, organizations, funder, government spend a lot of time trying to “fix” people of color and students of color. Teaching people of color to how write a resume or act in an interview. Or teaching students of color to have grit, better self-esteem, or social-emotional intelligence. Or philanthropic organizations to spend time teaching grassroots community of color organizations to write a grant or logic model. These are all important individual skills, but don’t address very real systemic barriers or biases based on race. This Thich Nhat Hanh quotes helps me re-frame my thinking:

“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce.”

Systemic racism is about just that – systemic barriers and biases based on race. Racial equity is the elimination of those systemic barriers, so future generations of students of color are not being taught to have more grit or better self-esteem. Here is the thing about systemic racism, the very people (white people) who have the most control over changing organizational policies and practices have never experienced systemic racism.

People always ask, if you don’t like the graphic what would you offer as an alternative. I must admit that I still don’t have a great answer. And, even though I don’t have a great alternative to offer doesn’t mean we should continuing using the one above. I believe it is causing more harm than good. Here is my wordy explanation I give to people as my “right now” answer. Of course, it comes in the form of a good bike analogy (I bike a lot).

REALITY

reality

The first frame needs to depict the “reality” of systemic racism. We’ve been giving road bikes and gear, training, etc. to white families for centuries, and if we give families of color a bike at all we give them a crappy bike that might not work at all. And, then we wonder why kids of color aren’t succeeding in a road bike race. Think about how this functions with schools, neighborhoods, clean air, etc.

What would equality be in this scenario? Guesses?

equality

 

EQUALITY

Did you guess give everyone a road bike? Yep, this would be “equality” give everyone the same thing. This even means giving white families another bike, even though they might have generations of bikes already. Why is this not the goal? Why is this not racial equity? I mean, I like riding bikes, but maybe not everyone does?

Now this is where my analogy gets tricky and requires words. What would racial equity be in this scenario? Any guesses? I often hear things like, the transportation option of their choice or an electric bike.

The simplest answer is people of color designed and led solutions and strategies.

jobsRestricting our thinking to just bikes is how racism limits us to tweaking ideas and solutions already embedded in our systems. Ideas and solutions that were designed intentionally to uphold white supremacy and keep control and benefits in the hands of white people. In the environmental space, historically white-led organizations want to get people of color to buy into strategies such as planting trees, using bikes, or electric cars. These are all great things (and many people of color do use these strategies), but it ignores what communities of colors often cite as solutions, such as jobs closer to home and anti-displacement efforts as solutions to environmental racism. Whose ideas do you think have historically been funded and continued to be funded?

Equity isn’t just giving boxes to short kids as the original picture at the top shows, equity is the harder work of listening and co-designing solutions with communities of color. Equity is giving up or sharing power and privilege. Equity is getting off of your road bike and slowing down to build relationships and enjoy what people of color bring and offer to the road race. Will you practice equity or fakequity?

Posted by Heidi Schillinger

No You Can’t Pick My Brain

It’s been a while since I have written for the blog, but after a week of seeing how institutions tell me every day to sit down, I need to get my thoughts on paper. Thank you Erin for almost never picking up the phone when I call at my scheduled time in the afternoon. I am finding my rants on your voicemail to be quite therapeutic.

I want to be clear, I am offering no solutions in this post. If it was that simple, the problems we face around community engagement would be fixed. Besides I have offered plenty of suggestions in the past, there are tons of tools and tips for your reference. The time is now to ask “do my values match my practices?” If you are doing your work to unpack privilege, notice how systemic racial bias shows up and leading for equity then perhaps my reflections on my experiences will compel you to work harder. I am also hopeful it will encourage others to call out other white folks when you see systemic and institutional racism being maintained in the workplace.

What set me off this weekmic

I never realized before what I considered best practices when working with community was a special skill. To me this ‘skill’ isn’t a skill, it is part of who I am and how I get my work done. Yet this skill has allowed me the privilege of sitting at a variety of tables, both in the community and sitting at political tables where resources are allocated or decisions are made. I am praised for my ideas and knowledge of community. The truth is as many times as I have been included in the discussion I am being tokenized. I am set up to represent and be the spokesperson for every POC community. In case you were unaware POC communities are made up of a dynamic collective of peoples with distinct and unique experiences. When you put me at the table you think it counts for true and authentic engagement.

Your participation in my exploitation ends today. I am no longer interested in being your thought partner. If you want to lead for equity and change then it is time to stop relying
on POC colleagues to do the heavy lifting for you. My brain is no longer available for picking. My time and knowledge are my most valuable and precious resources. As of today, I am saying goodbye to the following:

  1. Never being acknowledged for all the times I’ve sat at the table and reviewed your proposals and made recommendations. I’ve put in so much effort that it might as well be my project.
  2. Dropping a ton of knowledge and damn near telling you how to do it and you still do it your way in the end anyway. What’s the point of asking me, so you can check the box and say you ‘engaged’ pocs?
  3. Internal stakeholder engagement which is basically code for the “illusion of inclusion.” I get it you really do not want me there, but it is part of the deal. You need to show proof that you talked to some people of color. Gotta get the buy in right?
  4. Reading your final report and watching the institution praise you for your leadership. I read the report and marvel at all the fancy appendices. I look for my name and don’t see it. I read the report again just to make sure I didn’t miss it. Nope it is not there. Why do you only include ‘leadership’ or who paid for the report? Was my knowledge not as valuable? This isn’t about ego, it is about respect. If I left you off a list, oh trust me I would hear about how I overlooked an important detail and it is now a strike against me.

“We really do want to know what you’re thinking”

If you’re thinking “I really want to know what you’re thinking,” that is great, so show me you value what I know. Show me you value the years of relationship building I’ve done. I’ve invested many hours building relationships and trust with people in the community, when you ask me to give you shortcuts by telling you what I think, you should recognize you’re getting my biased version. If you value what I think then show me and the communities I work with respect by listening to what we say, by stop talking to me all the time and building new relationships, and finally act on what we tell you.

Just as you worked hard learning technical skills like building a database, putting together a pretty Excel budget, or a smart-sounding piece of legislation, I’ve been busy learning how to navigate different communities. I’ve been busy learning cultural norms and customs, such as elders eat first, how to bow my head respectfully while someone blesses the food, how to introduce myself in Spanish. I’ve also learned how to order lunch for a mixed group of people – it’s harder than you may think—is it Ramadan (no food or drink), no pepperoni pizza (is that pork in the pepperoni, is it halal, pepperoni pizza isn’t kosher), no dairy– can’t do regular pizza, how to order from POC owned businesses, how to order food and stay within a small budget, tip or no-tip, these are just as important skills as those technical ones you write on your resume.

Don’t dis what I know just because it sounds easy, it isn’t.

CiKeithia