List of Annoying Things White People Do

Note: No blog next week. I’ll be taking the week off for the holiday week.

This week’s blog post is tongue-in-cheek. Please don’t take it seriously. Like all stereotypes, there are sand grain sizes of truth to the larger oceans of fullness and richness. There are similar lists on the internet, but I wanted to write my own. I came up with the idea before checking online; turns out I’m not as original as I thought. Enjoy, chuckle, don’t take it overly seriously, but if you do see something that resonates ask yourself why.

  1. Put up signs that say “Black Lives Matter,” “Together we believe,” “Hate has no home here,” but do nothing different in their lives to affirm these values or change their behaviors. The only POCs who visit the houses with these signs are housekeepers, dog walkers, or other contractors — yay you for hiring POCs, still eyeroll at the sign but keeping it comfortable by only having paid POCs over.
  2. “I made a donation to the POC organization after I used their service displacing their clients.” No need to announce your good-white-people-status, just do the action and be quiet. We get the virtue signaling.
  3. Love Will Smith. No other Black actors exist by name.
  4. Worship social justice movements.
  5. Use the word equity but refuse to say Black, Brown, people of color, racism, white supremacy.
  6. Believe Jesus and all of Christianity is white. 6.5 Believe Santa is white. 6.6 Wonder why Jesus has 12 disciples and why there are 12 reindeer (k this one isn’t white, this is just me and late night rambling).
  7. Hire Robin DiAngelo and white racial equity speakers and trainers. Learn from white people who will make you uncomfortable but shut down when POCs make you too uncomfortable.
  8. Announce you have a Black friend, married an Asian, live in a diverse neighborhood.
  9. Say they have Black and Brown friends, and they are the ‘good ones.’
  10. Be first to speak in meetings. Must also fill silences in meetings, pauses and awkward silences are just an invitation to fill the talking space.
  11. White people love taking the whole sidewalk space. They rarely shift their bodies to the side when Black people and POCs are walking on the sidewalk too.
  12. Don’t bother learning people’s names – cause Asian women are interchangeable, all Black people look the same, Latinx people only have a handful of names. While we’re at it mispronounce names or give people nicknames because they can’t learn someone’s name that isn’t a name in the top 100 baby name list.
  13. Say All Lives Matter. If you don’t realize why this is offensive, stop reading and do an online search for why this is offensive, go down that research hole — you need it.
  14.  Claim reverse racism. Or at the least announce they are aggrieved because they didn’t get something.
  15. Make equity work depend on more funding.
  16. Only make accessibility happen after a lawsuit.
  17. Threaten lawsuits if they don’t get what they want.
  18. Insist on ‘accountability’ to them.
  19. Refuse to call out other white people for the bad behaviors.
  20. Insist they are perfect and therefore never annoying. Individualism at all times – I’m not annoying like the other white people, but all POCs are one monolithic group.

Thank you to K-Fishie🐠 and Eggplant🍆 for rounding out the list and chuckling with me. The list was written with white and mixed-race POC-white input.


Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving helps to keep the blog ad-free, pay for back end cost, research cost, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe we’ll appreciate it.

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If you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check fakequity.com for the most up to date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop.

I am writing from the lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small act to repair and work to be in more justice based relations.

Ask yourself, is this really for me?

Artwork by Sandrine Demathieu from Amplifer Art. Colorful boxes with people flexing their left arms w/ bandaids showing they are vaccinated against COVID19. Different languages with the words Vaccines are Safe.

If you don’t have a lot of time or don’t want to read, just read the title and you’ll get the whole point of the blog post. White people, and people with economic and other privileges, ask yourself “Is this really meant for me?” When deciding to participate in programs designed for POC communities. Sometimes the answer is no even if it isn’t explicitly stated, and sometimes it is yes but do so with care.

This blog post will hopefully be short and to the point, but first a story…

The pediatric COVID vaccine for children 5-11 years old was recently approved for emergency use — Hooray. For many parents/caregivers, this is a welcome relief.

When the adult vaccine came out in late 2020 – early 2021 there isn’t enough supply to meet the demand. This time the government also made a general release of the vaccine – a free for all. During the adult vaccine release government agencies prioritized who would be vaccinated first – medical providers, elders, parents of children with disabilities, etc.

During the adult COVID vaccine rollout, many POC organizations protected the links to schedule COVID appointments. We knew once the links were leaked POC communities would lose out. The appointments would be snatched up by white people and people with privilege. We guarded those appointment links. We texted friends and aunties to check-in and ask if they had gotten their vaccine, if they hadn’t we’d help them sign-up. We may have passed the vaccine clinic info to others but with strict instructions not to post it to social media, if they did they risked being unfriended or at the least not trusted with valuable information again. These are the lengths we had to go through to protect our resources and give our communities a fighting chance to what was rightfully theirs – a fair chance to get vaccinated and not wait until the end. Imagine how much energy we could have redirected if we didn’t have to go through such hoops.

Fast forward to the pediatric COVID vaccine release. There is no prioritization of who should get the pediatric vaccine first – it is a free-for-all and currently, there is a limited supply. Put those two things together and we can see privilege play out in so many ways. For another time we can ask why ourselves why government allowed this to happen.

In one parent Facebook group the phone number for a local POC health clinic was shared. Parents reported waiting for 45-min to 2-hrs on hold to make a COVID pediatric vaccine appointment. Yet these same parents had no idea what the organization does or who it serves. As another friend quietly lamented, “They can spend 2 hours on hold, but not use any of that time to Google?” The parents taking spots at that clinic displaced the clinic’s patients. I heard from one POC immigrant friend who gave up trying to get a vaccine spot there. Another parent pointed out a lot of the families probably couldn’t spend 2-hrs on hold because they don’t have enough pay-as-you-go cellphone minutes, phone privilege is real. This is how privilege shows up. It also meant white bodies are moving through a traditionally POC space — something for white people to think about.

Moral of the Story

If an organization doesn’t sound familiar to you or is embedded in a POC community, pause and ask “Is this really for me?” There is probably a reason you hadn’t heard of the organization before. Is it meant to serve you and your family or are you taking a resource from someone who needs it more?

This isn’t just about COVID vaccines. Those of us with privilege need to constantly be asking ourselves if we are taking from someone else who needs a resource more. A few weeks ago, I was thinking through why I procrastinate signing up for certain kid programs. I had an ‘ah-ha’ moment when I realized I’ve trained myself to not be first in line, to pause and make sure we’re not taking a spot from someone else who is in their target demographic. I don’t want to take a spot that was really designed for another student, my kids will be alright.

Back to the moral. Do some research, pause and ask is it really meant for you or are you taking from someone else. There are times it is ok to sign up and take a resource, other times maybe we should step back and let others go first. At the very least if you do some research you’ll probably learn about a great new organization.


Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving helps to keep the blog ad-free, pay for back end cost, research cost, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe we’ll appreciate it.

Abby, Adrienne, Adrienne, AE, Agent001, Aimie, AlaynaAlessandra P., Alessandra Z., Alexa, Aline, Alison F.P., Alison P., Allison K., Amanda, Amber, Amira, Amy H., Amy H.N., Amy K., Amy P., Andie, Andrea, Angelica, Angelina, Ann, Ashlee, Ashlie, Avery, Barb, Barbara, Barrett, Becky, Brad, brian, Bridget, Brooke B., Brooke D.W., Cadence, Caitlin, Calandra, Callista, Cari, Carmen, Carol Ann, Carolyn, Carrie B., Carrie C., Carrie S., Caryn, Catherine L., Catherine S., Cedra, Celicia, Chelsea, Christina, Christine, Clara, Clark, Claudia, Claudia A., Courtney, Crystal, Dan, Daniel, Danielle, Danya, Darcy, Darcy E., Deb, Denyse, Diana, Diane, Don, E., Ed, Edith B., Edith B. (2), Elizabeth, Elizabeth U., Emiko, emily, Erica J., Erica L., Erica R.B., Erin, Erin H., Evan, Francis, Hannah, Hayden, Heather, Heidi, Heidi H., Heidi N and Laura P, Heidi S., Hilary, Hope, J., Jackie, Jaime, Jake, JJanet, Jason, Jean, Jeanne, Jelena, Jen, Jena, Jenn, Jennet, Jennifer C., Jennifer M., Jennifer T., Jennifer W., Jess G., Jessa, Jessica F., Jessica G., Jessica R., Jessie, Jillian, Jody, John, Jon G., Jon P., Jordan, Julia, June, Karen, Kari, Katharine, Kate C., Kate G., Kate T., Kathryn, Katie B., Katie D., Katie O., Kawai, Keisha, Kelly S, Kelley, Kelli, Kellie H., Kellie M., Kelly, Kim, Kimberly, Krissy, Kirsten, Krista D.B., Krista W., Kristen, Kumar, Kyla, Laura T., Laura G., Laurel, Lauren, Laurie B., Laurie K., Leah, Lindsay, Lisa C., lisa c., Lisa P.W., Lisa S., Liz, Lori, Lori N., Lyn, Lynn, Maggie, Maka, Maki, Marc, Mareeha, Marge, Marilee, Mark, Marki, Mary, Matthew M., matthew w., Maura, McKenzie, Meghan, Melissa, Melody, Meredith, Michael, Michele, Michelle, Mickey, Migee, Mike, Milo, Mindy, Miranda, Misha, Molly, Myrna, Nancy, Nat, Natasha D., Natasha R., Nora, Norah, Norrie, Peggy, PMM, Polly, Porsche, Rachel G., Rachel S.R., Raquel, Raquel S., Rebecca O., Rebecca S., Risa, Rise, Ruby, Ruchika, Sarah B., Sarah H., Sarah K.B., Sarah K., Sarah L., Sarah O., Sarah O. (2), Sarah R., Sarah S., Sarena, Sarita, Sean, SEJE Consulting, Shannon, Sharon, Shaun, Shawna, Shelby, Shelley, Skyler, Steph, Stephanie, Stephen, Su, Susan, Susan M., Susan M.x2, Susan U., Tallie, Tana, Tania DSC, Tania T.D., Tara, TerraCorps, Terri, Titilayo, Tracy, Tracy G., Tracy T.G., Tyler, virginia, Vivian, Will, Willow, yoko, Yvetteand Zan

If you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check fakequity.com for the most up to date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop.

I am writing from the lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small act to repair and work to be in more justice based relations.

13 realizations about white people this week

Happy Diwali. Light and prosperity to our relations who are celebrating.

It is also Native American Heritage Month. I look forward to learning more about Native American history past and present. Thank you to the elders and my relations who are generous with sharing their stories.


Today’s post is a list of commonalities about white people and white culture. There are always exceptions. If you are white and feel some way about this list, that is ok – you don’t have to be comfortable with it. As I wrote last week, there are always exceptions, and there is always truth to the larger whole. It isn’t meant to call out anyone in particular, but if you feel called out maybe ask yourself why.

I didn’t *just* realize these things about white people as the title says. I wrote that title because some of these were renewed realizations from dealing with white people this week.

  1. White people like to be comfortable – Always comfortable. Anything that disrupts that comfort is an inconvenience. As an example, take away a school bus so now white parents have to disrupt their workday to pickup a kid. It is too inconvenient and they need their school bus back. If they were thinking about racial equity, they would think about the larger educational system and use their privileges to make other arrangements, or lobby for restoring service for others not just their own kids.
  2. White people like convenience—Services must revolve around their needs first. If it doesn’t they need an apology.
  3. White people like to use the word equity, but only as it applies to their needs first.
  4. White people like to be brave—Bravery for white people is on a different scale than bravery for POCs. POC bravery often comes at a higher personal cost — physical safety, income insecurity, reputational loss, etc.
  5. White people like to make the rules. They don’t like it when their rules are not popular. See above about bravery. Bravery only extends when comfortable and convenient.
  6. White people still think Asians are white – I didn’t just realize this, but it was reiterated to me this week in several different ways. White people also think Asians are invisible, we exist only when they want to see us and exploit our culture or need something.
  7. White people like to be first in line. I see you parents rushing to make COVID pediatric vaccine appointments. I also see the government systems allowing the free-for-all versus prioritizing kids with disabilities, medically fragile children, or others who should have had the first few days of the vaccine release held for them. See the point about making rules, but still needing to be popular.
  8. White people bravery doesn’t extend to voting and electing POCs or women. So many white men were reelected.  
  9. White people use the word “I” a lot when talking about equity.
  10. White people like the idea of being ‘proximate’ to BIPOCs, but only if they are comfortable. Explained another way – move to a diverse neighborhood, but still hang with people who are white, shop at the stores that cater to you, visit the gentrifier coffeeshops, playdates with families who are ‘comfortable’ to be around.
  11. White people (some not all) are not happy about being mandated to do things and expect to be accommodated when they refuse to meet the requirements. Their comfort and righteousness over community good. I was at a COVID vaccine site to help someone get a booster. A white guy came in and said he wanted the J&J vaccine. The staff asked if this was his booster, he said no it was his first. We were all happy for him, but he quickly squashed that by saying he is being forced to get it, and he isn’t happy about it. His comfort is more centered than thinking about the greater community.
  12. Black and Brown people put up with a lot of white nonsense with more grace and humility than white people.
  13. People of Color are brave, comfortable with ourselves, and deal with a lot of white nonsense.

Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving helps to keep the blog ad-free, pay for back end cost, research cost, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe we’ll appreciate it.

Abby, Adrienne, Adrienne, AE, Agent001, Aimie, AlaynaAlessandra P., Alessandra Z., Alexa, Aline, Alison F.P., Alison P., Allison K., Amanda, Amber, Amira, Amy H., Amy H.N., Amy K., Amy P., Andie, Andrea, Angelica, Angelina, Ann, Ashlee, Ashlie, Avery, Barb, Barbara, Barrett, Becky, Brad, brian, Bridget, Brooke B., Brooke D.W., Cadence, Caitlin, Calandra, Callista, Cari, Carmen, Carol Ann, Carolyn, Carrie B., Carrie C., Carrie S., Caryn, Catherine L., Catherine S., Cedra, Celicia, Chelsea, Christina, Christine, Clara, Clark, Claudia, Claudia A., Courtney, Crystal, Dan, Daniel, Danielle, Danya, Darcy, Darcy E., Deb, Denyse, Diana, Diane, Don, E., Ed, Edith B., Edith B. (2), Elizabeth, Elizabeth U., Emiko, emily, Erica J., Erica L., Erica R.B., Erin, Erin H., Evan, Francis, Hannah, Hayden, Heather, Heidi, Heidi H., Heidi N and Laura P, Heidi S., Hilary, Hope, J., Jackie, Jaime, Jake, JJanet, Jason, Jean, Jeanne, Jelena, Jen, Jena, Jenn, Jennet, Jennifer C., Jennifer M., Jennifer T., Jennifer W., Jessa, Jessica F., Jessica G., Jessica R., Jessie, Jillian, Jody, John, Jon G., Jon P., Jordan, Julia, June, Karen, Kari, Katharine, Kate C., Kate G., Kate T., Kathryn, Katie B., Katie D., Katie O., Kawai, Keisha, Kelley, Kelli, Kellie H., Kellie M., Kelly, Kim, Kimberly, Krissy, Kirsten, Krista D.B., Krista W., Kristen, Kumar, Kyla, Laura T., Laura G., Laurel, Lauren, Laurie B., Laurie K., Leah, Lindsay, Lisa C., lisa c., Lisa P.W., Lisa S., Liz, Lori, Lori N., Lyn, Lynn, Maggie, Maka, Maki, Marc, Mareeha, Marge, Marilee, Mark, Marki, Mary, Matthew M., matthew w., Maura, McKenzie, Meghan, Melissa, Melody, Meredith, Michael, Michele, Michelle, Mickey, Migee, Mike, Milo, Mindy, Miranda, Misha, Molly, Myrna, Nancy, Nat, Natasha D., Natasha R., Nora, Norah, Norrie, Peggy, PMM, Polly, Porsche, Rachel G., Rachel S.R., Raquel, Raquel S., Rebecca O., Rebecca S., Risa, Rise, Ruby, Ruchika, Sarah B., Sarah K.B., Sarah K., Sarah L., Sarah O., Sarah O. (2), Sarah R., Sarah S., Sarena, Sarita, Sean, SEJE Consulting, Shannon, Sharon, Shaun, Shawna, Shelby, Shelley, Skyler, Steph, Stephanie, Stephen, Su, Susan, Susan M., Susan M.x2, Susan U., Tallie, Tana, Tania DSC, Tania T.D., Tara, TerraCorps, Terri, Titilayo, Tracy, Tracy G., Tracy T.G., Tyler, virginia, Vivian, Will, Willow, yoko, Yvetteand Zan

If you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check fakequity.com for the most up to date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop.

I am writing from the lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small act to repair and work to be in more justice based relations.

But… the Exception…

Pictures of lemons on a blue background, one lemon is cut in half placed cut side up. Photo by SHVETS production on Pexels.com

I know better than to slide over to the neighborhood Facebook group, but one day I did. It is just a different version of the newspaper comment section, except on Facebook, there are tiny circles with a profile pictures. The day I popped over to the neighborhood Facebook group was Indigenous Peoples’ Day. One of the Facebook posts that had a ton of comments on it documented vandalism at a local Catholic church. The vandalism was directed at the church for its abuses and lack of holding themselves accountable.

The comments went back and forth between “that’s horrible,” to “vandalism is never right,” to “yup the church deserved it.” There was also a vein of comments saying because the church serves a majority POC population they didn’t deserve the vandalism. This got me thinking about how hard it is to think about the whole and make sense of things through what we know as personal experience.

Often our brains want to make sense of a situation through the knowledge it already has. In this case, people know the local church and the people affiliated with it. They may not know the larger problem of historical church abuses, especially against Native and Indigenous people (i.e. cultural genocide through boarding schools) – this was important to note because the vandalism happened on Indigenous Peoples Day. We naturally want to make exceptions, “the church didn’t deserve the vandalism because they serve POCs, they didn’t cause harm,” versus understanding the larger context of how the church system overall allowed abuses to happen and still happen.

But…

This happens in other situations too. I’ve sat through many conversations where someone will say “but…

  • My best friend is Black
  • I’m married to an Asian
  • My cousin is disabled so I understand (I’ve said this. I cringe thinking about the poor person on the other side of that conversation.)
  • I went to a ‘poor’ school
  • I was a Peace Corps volunteer

All of these are trying to carve out an exception, trying to position either yourself or the situation as being the exception and therefore exempt from being racist, ablest, wrong, or to create distance and isolate the problem.

The problem is when we do this we’re not recognizing the overall systemic problem at hand. It can be true that a church can serve a majority POC population and still be wrong for the historical harms they perpetuated and have yet to heal from. A person can be racist and have a Black friend. It can be true a white man can be married to an Asian and not be woke. It is true, I can strive to be an ally to people with disabilities and still figuratively put my foot in my mouth and say dumb things.

Accepting the dissonance between the two is part of the growth process. This allows us the mental space to recognize there are systems—rules/policies, practices, historical tendencies, biases, etc.—that hold back many marginalized groups AND there are always exceptions to those groups. Racial equity and other forms of equity work recognize that exceptions are just that, exceptions, and we need to work to change the system to allow more people to be whole.

If you’re in a conversation and you feel the urge to say “but, [exception]” stop and stay quiet – let the moment pass. The conversation will be better if you don’t try to defend your thinking by pointing out the exception. The other person doesn’t need to know you were in the Peace Corps and that is where you think you learned about racial equity. Instead, use the time to listen to others, especially people who are impacted by inequities — they probably can teach you more about how to undo wrongs than your exceptional life.


Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving helps to keep the blog ad-free, pay for back end cost, research cost, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe we’ll appreciate it.

Abby, Adrienne, Adrienne, AE, Agent001, Aimie, AlaynaAlessandra P., Alessandra Z., Alexa, Aline, Alison F.P., Alison P., Allison K., Amanda, Amber, Amira, Amy H., Amy H.N., Amy K., Amy P., Andie, Andrea, Angelica, Angelina, Ann, Ashlee, Ashlie, Avery, Barb, Barbara, Barrett, Becky, Brad, brian, Bridget, Brooke B., Brooke D.W., Cadence, Caitlin, Calandra, Callista, Cari, Carmen, Carol Ann, Carolyn, Carrie B., Carrie C., Carrie S., Caryn, Catherine L., Catherine S., Cedra, Celicia, Chelsea, Christina, Christine, Clara, Clark, Claudia, Claudia A., Courtney, Crystal, Dan, Daniel, Danielle, Danya, Darcy, Darcy E., Deb, Denyse, Diana, Diane, Don, E., Ed, Edith B., Edith B. (2), Elizabeth, Elizabeth U., Emiko, emily, Erica J., Erica L., Erica R.B., Erin, Erin H., Evan, Francis, Hannah, Hayden, Heather, Heidi, Heidi H., Heidi N and Laura P, Heidi S., Hilary, Hope, J., Jackie, Jaime, Jake, JJanet, Jason, Jean, Jeanne, Jelena, Jen, Jena, Jenn, Jennet, Jennifer C., Jennifer M., Jennifer T., Jennifer W., Jessa, Jessica F., Jessica G., Jessica R., Jessie, Jillian, Jody, John, Jon G., Jon P., Jordan, Julia, June, Karen, Kari, Katharine, Kate C., Kate G., Kate T., Kathryn, Katie B., Katie D., Katie O., Kawai, Keisha, Kelley, Kelli, Kellie H., Kellie M., Kelly, Kim, Kimberly, Krissy, Kirsten, Krista D.B., Krista W., Kristen, Kumar, Kyla, Laura T., Laura G., Laurel, Lauren, Laurie B., Laurie K., Leah, Lindsay, Lisa C., lisa c., Lisa P.W., Lisa S., Liz, Lori, Lori N., Lyn, Lynn, Maggie, Maka, Maki, Marc, Mareeha, Marge, Marilee, Mark, Marki, Mary, Matthew M., matthew w., Maura, McKenzie, Meghan, Melissa, Melody, Meredith, Michael, Michele, Michelle, Mickey, Migee, Mike, Milo, Mindy, Miranda, Misha, Molly, Myrna, Nancy, Nat, Natasha D., Natasha R., Nora, Norah, Norrie, Peggy, PMM, Polly, Porsche, Rachel G., Rachel S.R., Raquel, Raquel S., Rebecca O., Rebecca S., Risa, Rise, Ruby, Ruchika, Sarah B., Sarah K.B., Sarah K., Sarah L., Sarah O., Sarah O. (2), Sarah R., Sarah S., Sarena, Sarita, Sean, SEJE Consulting, Shannon, Sharon, Shaun, Shawna, Shelby, Shelley, Skyler, Steph, Stephanie, Stephen, Su, Susan, Susan M., Susan M.x2, Susan U., Tallie, Tana, Tania DSC, Tania T.D., Tara, TerraCorps, Terri, Titilayo, Tracy, Tracy T.G., Tyler, virginia, Vivian, Will, Willow, yoko, Yvetteand Zan

If you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check fakequity.com for the most up to date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop.

I am writing from the lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small act to repair and work to be in more justice based relations.

Disability Is What We’ve Made It

October is Disability History month. Carrie, a frequent guest blogger, joins us to share about what disability means. Be sure to read her previous blog posts as well.


Artwork of Anita Cameron — Quote: Civil rights are not given you must fight to get them, then, you must fight to keep them. Black women wearing a blue beanie with Adapt on the front. Lower right, Black person face down being lifted by arms behind their back, lower left, Anita Cameron holding microphone in wheelchair, flag with red and white stripes, blue background w/ white dots in shape of a wheelchair.

By Carrie Basas

I was born with my disabilities. From birth to five, I had 38 surgeries and spent most of my time either in a hospital or separate school for disabled students. (If you’re feeling the word “inspiring” coming on, please stop and watch this TED Talk.) In both settings, I was surrounded by other kids who were experiencing medical or behavioral interventions to make them “more normal.” I saw a world that expected me to adapt to it. 

In third grade, I was mainstreamed to my neighborhood school. I became the only kid with a disability, or so I thought. Nondisabled people told me that I had won the prize of mainstreaming because I showed potential. I “fit in” better than my disabled peers that would continue to be warehoused. I missed them, but I was told that I was no longer them.

As a disabled kid, I defined disability in terms of what was happening to my body – the ways that I couldn’t get around in certain settings, the anxiety that I had about new activities where I had to create my own access, and the shame that I felt when people would stare at me. I didn’t see representations of disability that diverged from the idea of it being an individual physical, mental, sensory, or communication issue. 

Erin and I recently asked some kids how they would define disability. (Thanks to the families and youth who shared their definitions with us.) I appreciated the kids’ candor. Youth are working through their definitions with vulnerability:

  • Age 4: “I don’t know.” (Their parent was glad they had started the conversation.)
  • Age 4 (has disabled family members): “It’s people who use wheelchairs to roll and can’t walk.”
  • Age 5: “I think my only guess is someone who can’t teleport.”
  • Age 6: “I have not learned yet . . . Maybe it has something to do with having a big responsibility?”
  • Age 6.5 (that 0.5 is meaningful to the kid): “The opposite of ability.”
  • Age 9: “Something that causes someone to not have a body part or their minds think in a different way.”
  • Age 9: “Disability should not be called a disability, but rather a different ability.”
  • Age 10: “When people can’t really control certain parts of themselves.”
  • Age 11: “Disability is defined as anything that puts you at a lesser ability than most people, could be something like depression or autism or having no legs. Many things are disabilities.”
  • Age 11 (has a disability): “It makes you unable to move a body part or you don’t have a body part that other people have.”
  • Age 11: “When you’re not able to do something—from ‘dis’ meaning ‘not’ plus ‘ability.’”
  • Age 12: “I think disability means that you are physically or mentally unable to do something, but this doesn’t mean a person is not capable of other things, like if a person had a physical disability, they could be really good at math or something and vice versa for a person with a mental disability.”
  • Age 12: “Something that affects your everyday life and you can’t control it. And it’s usually something mental or physical.”
  • Age 13: “Something that makes it harder to do something.”
  • Age 14 (has a disability): “Ask Google. A physical defect that the typical person probably doesn’t have.”

I viewed disability as an individual medical issue for almost 20 years until I found mentors who introduced me to disability communities. I stopped thinking that my impairments were the problem and acknowledged that disability was put on me by others. Disability is a social experience of discrimination, stigma, and alienation. How do we choose who has a disability and who just has a health condition or a different way of being in the world? Our lines are arbitrary. I struggle with a world not designed by or with me and the negative attention that I receive, especially the charitable “you’re so inspiring” moments. They aren’t about me; they are about others’ discomfort. Being in community with other disabled people and claiming our pride are the positive parts of disability and ones that we don’t see in mainstream media.

While once presenting to health officials, I tried to explain how I gave up on being normal, even though I’ll never fully exorcise internalized ableism. One of the participants challenged me: “Why wouldn’t you try to be normal? Why wouldn’t you want that?” He didn’t accept my answer that I could never reach that goal; it is a mirage that makes me feel like a failure. Most days, it is not my body-mind that is unwieldy. It is how others react to me.

Youth, too, are asking what disability means in society. Naming our reactions to someone else’s body or mind helps us to question who decided what was “normal”:

  • Age 6: “It’s when you’re still trying to find and learn how to use your hidden superpower.”
  • Age 10 (has a disability): “Something physical or mental that makes someone different. Sometimes people’s disabilities give them more abilities, like my ASD makes me smart but doesn’t make it easy for me to understand people.”
  • Age 10 (intellectually disabled): Conversation with parent: “What’s a disability?” Young person points to themselves. Parent: “You?” Young person: “Yes, I’m cool.”
  • Age 10 (has a disability): “Disability can be physical or emotional or invisible like my ADHD.”
  • Age 11 (has disabled siblings): “That’s a question because it could be anything. Disability could be anything.”
  • Age 11 (has disabled family members): “Disability affects the brain or body. Most people who have a disability also have possibilities.”
  • Age 13 (self-identifies as autistic): “Something physical or mental that prevents someone from acting like a ‘normal’ member of society.”
  • Age 14 (disabled little-person and neurodivergent): “It means you are unique. You see the world from a different perspective from regular people. Overall, it’s wonderful.”
  • Age 15 (attends a school for neurodiverse students): “It can be a physical or mental challenge that can present difficulties. But also something that could be worked around.”
  • Age 17: “When someone has something about them that society says is ‘not normal’, whether it be mental or physical.”

There are two parts to disability: what is happening to our body-minds and how it is stigmatized in society. We can build inclusive, justice-centered communities where we honor all ways of being and dismantle barriers that keep disabled youth and adults socially isolated and marginalized. We might never reach teleportation together or have exciting superpowers, but we can hold ourselves, disabled and nondisabled, accountable for creating belonging and pride. It is a “big responsibility,” as the six-year-old said.

Shameless plug: Watch some amazing student videos to get this conversation going.


Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving helps to keep the blog ad-free, pay for back end cost, research cost, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe we’ll appreciate it.

Abby, Adrienne, Adrienne, AE, Agent001, Aimie, AlaynaAlessandra P., Alessandra Z., Alexa, Aline, Alison F.P., Alison P., Allison K., Amanda, Amber, Amira, Amy H., Amy H.N., Amy K., Amy P., Andie, Andrea, Angelica, Angelina, Ann, Ashlee, Ashlie, Avery, Barb, Barbara, Barrett, Becky, Brad, brian, Bridget, Brooke B., Brooke D.W., Cadence, Caitlin, Calandra, Callista, Cari, Carmen, Carol Ann, Carolyn, Carrie B., Carrie C., Carrie S., Caryn, Catherine L., Catherine S., Cedra, Celicia, Chelsea, Christina, Christine, Clara, Clark, Claudia, Claudia A., Courtney, Dan, Daniel, Danielle, Danya, Darcy, Darcy E., Deb, Denyse, Diana, Diane, Don, E., Ed, Edith B., Edith B. (2), Elizabeth, Elizabeth U., Emiko, emily, Erica J., Erica L., Erica R.B., Erin, Erin H., Evan, Francis, Hannah, Hayden, Heather, Heidi, Heidi H., Heidi N and Laura P, Heidi S., Hilary, Hope, J., Jackie, Jaime, Jake, JJanet, Jason, Jean, Jeanne, Jelena, Jen, Jena, Jenn, Jennet, Jennifer C., Jennifer M., Jennifer T., Jennifer W., Jessa, Jessica F., Jessica G., Jessica R., Jessie, Jillian, Jody, John, Jon G., Jon P., Jordan, Julia, June, Karen, Kari, Katharine, Kate C., Kate G., Kate T., Kathryn, Katie B., Katie D., Katie O., Kawai, Keisha, Kelley, Kelli, Kellie H., Kellie M., Kelly, Kim, Kimberly, Krissy, Kirsten, Krista D.B., Krista W., Kristen, Kumar, Kyla, Laura T., Laura G., Laurel, Lauren, Laurie B., Laurie K., Leah, Lindsay, Lisa C., lisa c., Lisa P.W., Lisa S., Liz, Lori, Lori N., Lyn, Lynn, Maggie, Maka, Maki, Marc, Mareeha, Marge, Marilee, Mark, Marki, Mary, Matthew M., matthew w., Maura, McKenzie, Meghan, Melissa, Melody, Meredith, Michael, Michele, Michelle, Mickey, Migee, Mike, Milo, Mindy, Miranda, Misha, Molly, Myrna, Nancy, Nat, Natasha D., Natasha R., Norah, Norrie, Peggy, PMM, Polly, Porsche, Rachel G., Rachel S.R., Raquel, Raquel S., Rebecca O., Rebecca S., Risa, Rise, Ruby, Ruchika, Sarah B., Sarah K.B., Sarah K., Sarah L., Sarah O., Sarah O. (2), Sarah R., Sarah S., Sarena, Sarita, Sean, SEJE Consulting, Shannon, Sharon, Shaun, Shawna, Shelby, Shelley, Skyler, Steph, Stephanie, Stephen, Su, Susan, Susan M., Susan M.x2, Susan U., Tallie, Tana, Tania DSC, Tania T.D., Tara, TerraCorps, Terri, Titilayo, Tracy, Tracy T.G., Tyler, virginia, Vivian, Will, Willow, yoko, Yvetteand Zan

If you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check fakequity.com for the most up to date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop.

I am writing from the lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small act to repair and work to be in more justice based relations.

Learning About Disabilities

October is Disability History Month. During the past few years, I’ve learned a lot more about disabilities, disability justice, and how to be a more thoughtful ally. I’m still learning and will have to continue to learn and evolve around disabilities. Carrie has been a patient mentor – make sure to read some of Carrie’s past blog posts on Fakequity.

For this week’s post I’ll share some of what I’ve learned about disabilities over the years. I am not a disability expert, nor am I part of the disability justice world. But I want to share some novice level info in the hopes it will spur you to dig deeper on your own. For those heavily immersed in this world, thank you for the grace of teaching people like me. This post is hopefully a quick invitation to others who like me have to learn and need a little nudge or exposure to learn more.

There isn’t one way to be disabled

A few years ago, I was called out in a blog comment about not including disabilities in my writing. It was true I didn’t write about disabilities – I focused on race because that is what I know. It is a fool’s errand to write about what you don’t know and thus I stayed away from writing about disabilities. I didn’t want to make a mistake, be called out, or at worse do more harm. However, the call out was important because disabilities is something I need to learn about and include in Fakequity. Carrie was very patient when I emailed her asking for help. I am grateful since it wasn’t her job to educate me.

One of the first things she taught me over a pho lunch, was there isn’t one way to be disabled. Disabilities includes many different ways of being disabled. In American culture we’re often socialized to believe disabilities are physical and often visible. This isn’t true for everyone with disabilities. The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) definition of disabilities “as a physical or mental impairment that substantially limits one or more major life activities, a person who has a history or record of such an impairment, or a person who is perceived by others as having such an impairment.”  

Disabilities can include many different ways of being disabled – physical disabilities, vision, hearing/auditory, neurological, medical, cognitive, psychological, mobility, etc. For me realizing the wide array of disabilities was a lightbulb moment.

One out of five people have a disability. At different points in our lives, we can shift to being disabled, or for some out of a disability. It is important to understand and realize this so we can be more consciousness about creating environments that are inclusive of people with disabilities. Accommodations for a person with low vision would be different than a person with a medical disability.

Access and Accommodations

My colleague Trang said during a planning call around COVID vaccine clinics, (paraphrasing) “how people with the highest burdens and needs experience an event is a sign of how well the event went.” She said it much more elegantly. Trang taught me a new way to prioritize who events are designed for and how to create a better experience for people with disabilities, language access, people of color comfort and wellbeing. Rephrased less elegantly, we need to design our work, events, spaces, etc. thinking about how people with disabilities and their intersectional needs (e.g. language, technology fluency and tech access, transportation, historical inclusion, etc.). If we fail to think about them while we plan they will get lost in the shuffle and won’t have a great experience.

Carrie is also famous for the saying “when you design for everyone, you design for no one.” No one event/program can meet everyone’s needs – impossible to please everyone. This means being clear about who you are focusing on and why you are creating whatever you’re creating. If you want to be inclusive of people with disabilities, you need to understand who the people are. Not every person with a disability needs the same things at the same time.

Finally, Heidi has blogged about this in the past – Access Isn’t Equity. While it is important to think about providing access to events, meetings, classrooms, for people with disabilities that isn’t true racial equity or disability justice. Access is just that access to a space not designed for or by people with disabilities. Justice requires us to step back and create the conditions that foster and default to people with disabilities having ownership/control and comfort/wellbeing of whatever is being developed. This is what we should be striving for.

A curated list of additional resources from Carrie:

One out of Five, Office of Education Ombuds

There Is No Justice Without Disability

Invisible Disability Project (IDP)

10 Tips for Introducing Disability to Kids – In a future post (sometime this month hopefully, we’ll delve into conversations with kids and disabilities).

Rooted in Rights


Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving helps to keep the blog ad-free, pay for back end cost, research cost, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe we’ll appreciate it.

Abby, Adrienne, Adrienne, AE, Agent001, Aimie, AlaynaAlessandra P., Alessandra Z., Alexa, Aline, Alison F.P., Alison P., Allison K., Amanda, Amber, Amira, Amy H., Amy H.N., Amy K., Amy P., Andie, Andrea, Angelica, Angelina, Ann, Ashlee, Ashlie, Avery, Barb, Barbara, Barrett, Becky, Brad, brian, Bridget, Brooke B., Brooke D.W., Cadence, Caitlin, Calandra, Callista, Cari, Carmen, Carol Ann, Carolyn, Carrie B., Carrie C., Carrie S., Caryn, Catherine L., Catherine S., Cedra, Celicia, Chelsea, Christina, Christine, Clara, Clark, Claudia, Claudia A., Courtney, Dan, Daniel, Danielle, Danya, Darcy, Darcy E., Deb, Denyse, Diana, Diane, Don, E., Ed, Edith B., Edith B. (2), Elizabeth, Elizabeth U., Emiko, emily, Erica J., Erica L., Erica R.B., Erin, Erin H., Evan, Francis, Hannah, Hayden, Heather, Heidi, Heidi H., Heidi N and Laura P, Heidi S., Hilary, Hope, J., Jackie, Jaime, Jake, JJanet, Jason, Jean, Jeanne, Jelena, Jen, Jena, Jenn, Jennet, Jennifer C., Jennifer M., Jennifer T., Jennifer W., Jessa, Jessica F., Jessica G., Jessica R., Jessie, Jillian, Jody, John, Jon G., Jon P., Jordan, Julia, June, Karen, Kari, Katharine, Kate C., Kate G., Kate T., Kathryn, Katie B., Katie D., Katie O., Kawai, Keisha, Kelley, Kelli, Kellie H., Kellie M., Kelly, Kim, Kimberly, Krissy, Kirsten, Krista D.B., Krista W., Kristen, Kumar, Kyla, Laura T., Laura G., Laurel, Lauren, Laurie B., Laurie K., Leah, Lindsay, Lisa C., Lisa P.W., Lisa S., Liz, Lori, Lori N., Lyn, Lynn, Maggie, Maka, Maki, Marc, Mareeha, Marge, Marilee, Mark, Marki, Mary, Matthew M., matthew w., Maura, McKenzie, Meghan, Melissa, Melody, Meredith, Michael, Michele, Michelle, Mickey, Migee, Mike, Milo, Mindy, Miranda, Misha, Molly, Myrna, Nancy, Nat, Natasha D., Natasha R., Norah, Norrie, Peggy, PMM, Polly, Porsche, Rachel G., Rachel S.R., Raquel, Raquel S., Rebecca O., Rebecca S., Risa, Rise, Ruby, Ruchika, Sarah B., Sarah K.B., Sarah K., Sarah L., Sarah O., Sarah O. (2), Sarah R., Sarah S., Sarena, Sarita, Sean, SEJE Consulting, Shannon, Sharon, Shaun, Shawna, Shelby, Shelley, Skyler, Steph, Stephanie, Stephen, Su, Susan, Susan M., Susan M.x2, Susan U., Tallie, Tana, Tania DSC, Tania T.D., Tara, TerraCorps, Terri, Titilayo, Tracy, Tracy T.G., Tyler, virginia, Vivian, Will, Willow, yoko, Yvetteand Zan

If you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check fakequity.com for the most up to date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop.

I am writing from the ancestral lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small action to hopefully repair and work to be in more justice based relations.

White People You Do have Culture

It is Hispanic/Latinx Heritage month (15 Sept – 15 Oct) and Disability History Awareness month. Washington State Office of Education Ombuds has One Out of Five: Disability History and Pride Project, check it out to learn more about disability history, allyship, and intersectionality. The blog Colorful Pages (subscribe to their blog too) has a list of books featuring Latinx characters.


Picture of a white background with two water glasses, one tipped on its side, the other a quarter full of water. Photo by Andreea Ch on Pexels.com

A few weeks ago, I overheard a white man tell another white person “I couldn’t fill out the school survey. We’re white, we don’t have culture.” The survey he was talking asked parents what we thought and how to balance the different cultures within the diverse school. I had to walk away from the conversation, I didn’t want to get into a discussion or education session about how white people do have culture even if they don’t recognize it.

White Culture

Everyone has culture whether you recognize it or not. A working definition of culture is it is the set of beliefs, customs, practices, values, and social norms that allow us to make sense of the world. Such as food preferences are often culturally generated. Beliefs, language, and communications are also culturally engrained. White people have cultural standards and norms, but they are so entwined in how our societies operate we forget they are white culture.

As an example, ‘standard’ or ‘proper’ English is a white standard that is now embedded into American culture. It is so engrained into our everyday life that anything other that English is seen as someone else’s culture. We don’t label English as white culture, it is invisible.

White Culture is Invisible

White culture is often invisible but felt everywhere. Here are a few more examples:

  • Sense of time and following strict schedules is a US white norm. Controlling time and using time as a commodity is a white norm.
  • Holidays we celebrate are mostly Christian or Eurocentric. If you pull open a pre-printed calendar most of the holidays listed are Christian, e.g. Valentine’s day, Christmas, Thanksgiving, St. Patrick’s day. (Side note, if you want to see a list of non-Christian/Euro based holidays and celebrations see Fakequity’s annual list of dates.)
  • Focus on fairness and meritocracy, belief in hard work and rewards.
  • Written language and increasingly visuals (i.e. Instagram) are superior forms of communication, and everything needs to be documented.
  • Ableism and charity. Being able-bodied is a way of contributing, and if you can’t you receive charity instead of inclusion.

There are many more examples of how white culture is present in our everyday lives but we often don’t label it as white culture. It is always present and invisible to labeling. When we fail to label it as white culture it defaults to being the norm and the expectation of how we function and judge interactions against. This also robs white people from feeling like they have culture.

Everyone has Culture

White people have culture – good and bad, like many other people. White people may not experience or feel their culture as intensely as other racial and ethnic groups because we’ve become accustomed to it being the norm.

White people need to stop thinking they don’t have culture. This erasure of believing you don’t have culture is scapegoating and not taking responsibility for the harm of white culture, and the opposite of that not seeing yourself as a person and as a white community. Every culture has good things in it and it is important to recognize those too.

The history and culture of whiteness in America is something white people need to understand. Dismissing it and saying there isn’t a white culture means white cultural norms aren’t being looked at and understood. I also want white people to see parts of white culture that allow them to heal from and find resiliency to move forward. Staying in the space of oppressing culture is how we end up with conversations like denying critical race theory, denying immigration, even things like climate change.

Instead of denying white culture, let’s find a way to be open about it and recognize cultural values.

Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving helps to keep the blog ad-free, pay for back end cost, research cost, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe we’ll appreciate it.

Abby, Adrienne, Adrienne, AE, Agent001, Aimie, AlaynaAlessandra P., Alessandra Z., Alexa, Aline, Alison F.P., Alison P., Allison K., Amanda, Amber, Amira, Amy H., Amy H.N., Amy K., Amy P., Andie, Andrea, Angelica, Angelina, Ann, Ashlee, Ashlie, Avery, Barb, Barbara, Barrett, Becky, Brad, brian, Bridget, Brooke B., Brooke D.W., Cadence, Caitlin, Calandra, Callista, Cari, Carmen, Carol Ann, Carolyn, Carrie B., Carrie C., Carrie S., Caryn, Catherine L., Catherine S., Cedra, Celicia, Chelsea, Christina, Christine, Clara, Clark, Claudia, Claudia A., Courtney, Dan, Daniel, Danielle, Danya, Darcy, Darcy E., Deb, Denyse, Diana, Diane, Don, E., Ed, Edith B., Edith B. (2), Elizabeth, Elizabeth U., Emiko, emily, Erica J., Erica L., Erica R.B., Erin, Erin H., Evan, Francis, Hannah, Hayden, Heather, Heidi, Heidi H., Heidi N and Laura P, Heidi S., Hilary, Hope, J., Jackie, Jaime, Jake, JJanet, Jason, Jean, Jeanne, Jelena, Jen, Jena, Jenn, Jennet, Jennifer C., Jennifer M., Jennifer T., Jennifer W., Jessa, Jessica F., Jessica G., Jessica R., Jessie, Jillian, Jody, John, Jon G., Jon P., Jordan, Julia, June, Karen, Kari, Katharine, Kate C., Kate G., Kate T., Kathryn, Katie B., Katie D., Katie O., Kawai, Keisha, Kelley, Kelli, Kellie H., Kellie M., Kelly, Kim, Kimberly, Krissy, Kirsten, Krista D.B., Krista W., Kristen, Kumar, Kyla, Laura T., Laura G., Laurel, Lauren, Laurie B., Laurie K., Leah, Lindsay, Lisa C., Lisa P.W., Lisa S., Liz, Lori, Lori N., Lyn, Lynn, Maggie, Maka, Maki, Marc, Mareeha, Marge, Marilee, Mark, Marki, Mary, Matthew M., matthew w., Maura, McKenzie, Meghan, Melissa, Melody, Meredith, Michael, Michele, Michelle, Mickey, Migee, Mike, Milo, Mindy, Miranda, Misha, Molly, Myrna, Nancy, Nat, Natasha D., Natasha R., Norah, Norrie, Peggy, PMM, Polly, Porsche, Rachel G., Rachel S.R., Raquel, Raquel S., Rebecca O., Rebecca S., Risa, Rise, Ruby, Ruchika, Sarah B., Sarah K.B., Sarah K., Sarah L., Sarah O., Sarah O. (2), Sarah R., Sarah S., Sarena, Sarita, Sean, SEJE Consulting, Shannon, Sharon, Shaun, Shawna, Shelby, Shelley, Skyler, Steph, Stephanie, Stephen, Su, Susan, Susan M., Susan U., Tallie, Tana, Tania DSC, Tania T.D., Tara, TerraCorps, Terri, Titilayo, Tracy, Tracy T.G., Tyler, virginia, Vivian, Will, Willow, yoko, Yvetteand Zan

If you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check fakequity.com for the most up to date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop.

I am writing from the ancestral lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small action to hopefully repair and work to be in more justice based relations.

Hard to Say I’m Sorry: How to Apologize When You’ve Been a Jerkface

This week’s post is by frequent guest contributor Carrie Basas. Read more about how to apologize when you’ve erred on ableism or really any time at all.


White background, leaves to left, black capital cutout letters spelling SORRY, slightly drifting to the right in a not straight line. Photo by Vie Studio on Pexels.com

By Carrie Basas, guest contributor

I wrote this post a month or two ago and have tinkered with it as I’ve gained more insights into how to say I’m sorry (and my failures) and what I need when others have harmed me. In my work, too, I see people struggle with apologizing to each other. Sometimes, they won’t even recognize that they caused harm to someone else. Other times, it sounds like a Law & Order episode of justifications and closing arguments. Some people who really just need to apologize and mean it, cry or yell. Others withdraw. My favorite permutation of the bad apology is when you raise how you’ve been harmed only to have the other person switch the subject to themselves. I can’t give you a template for how to apologize well and meaningfully. 

I will tell you, however, when I am hurt and name ableism, I have to consider a few things. Will I be labeled as the angry disabled person in a society where disabled experiences and wisdom are often not valued? Will this person minimize my experience or expect me to accept their ableist point of view or ablesplaining? Will I just wish that I had never flagged the concern because now I’m worn down by being asked to recant?

I can’t speak for BIPOC or other communities. I can’t speak for others in disability communities. I can only share my experience of how I’d like someone to respond when I flag ableism. Maybe something will resonate with you as you make your apology mixtape next time.

  • If we tell you that you have harmed us, then you have. No productive conversation will begin and end with your good intentions. Focus on what the person is sharing about the impact on them. A clear example of ableism is denying a disabled person’s experiences. 
  • Listen. That probably means shutting up without shutting down. 
  • Do not shift the conversation to another issue. You are being defensive if you are making the conversation about you.
  • Focus on the relationship repair that you can do. Never expect us to fix your feelings or agree with your rationalization. 
  • Please don’t take a survey of others to see if you’re in the wrong or a victim, especially if your confidante is from a marginalized, oppressed community. Respect privacy. This story isn’t yours to share. For witnesses of these harms, use any power and privilege that you might have to shut down this behavior.
  • Don’t dismiss people by turning to stereotypes about race or disability, for example, and portray our anger or sorrow as overblown, inappropriate personal responses.
  • If you don’t have an answer to what we have shared, then simply say that. If you never even considered the impact of your actions or words, own that. 
  • Recognize the amount of vulnerability, emotional labor, and pain it takes for us to name the harm.  
  • Reflect on how what we shared isn’t an isolated incident or concern. Ableism makes us exhausted, sad, and dehumanized. Maybe we cared enough about the relationship, our joy, or our mental health to tell you.
  • Do not demand a return apology, the person’s trust, a softer delivery, or a better time for the conversation. The conversation is happening now. 
  • Honor when we end the conversation because we need space and support for healing and that process doesn’t always happen with you.  

An apology is empty unless you mean what you say and are committed to doing better. Know why you are sorry. Be specific. If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a bad apology, you know it can be self-serving. If you’re about to say, “I am sorry *you* feel that way” or “With all due respect . . .”, please stop. That kind of reaction shows contempt and gaslighting. Now is a good time to ask what you can do to repair the relationship or prevent future harm. Accept what you have been told, which might be to simply figure it out on your own. Don’t negotiate something else in return. 

I still remember my driver’s education instructor telling us that if we ever caused accidents, we shouldn’t admit our fault or remorse to the other driver– and that even a vague apology could be used as evidence against us. Our relationships don’t have to be living examples of mitigating liability. We aren’t always the people others need us to be or even people we’d like, but we can commit to growing– one awkward apology and healing action at a time. I’m still working on it.


Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving helps to keep the blog ad-free, pay for back end cost, research cost, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe we’ll appreciate it.

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If you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check fakequity.com for the most up to date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop.

I am writing from the ancestral lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small action to hopefully repair and work to be in more justice based relations.

Relationship Building Questions (aka ice breaker questions)

Calming beach scene of Hawaii, palm tree, rocks, and waves
Photo by Matthew DeVries on Pexels.com

Earlier today a friend asked for examples of relationship building questions. She remembered a few I’ve used in the past and wanted to expand upon some of them for meetings she facilitates. That prompted me to write down a few I’ve used in the past – some of my go-to questions or faves.

Think about the group you’re facilitating and why you want to use a relationship building question. In the book The Art of Gathering, the author talks about being intentional with what you do and why you do it. Be intentional about why you are choosing a question and how it relates to the broader goals of the meeting. Creating an intentional space and inviting people to share is important. Take the time to explain why you chose the question, make sure to talk about it in a racialized context – model talking about race and personal identities as it relates to the question and responses. This is a great place to introduce storytelling and using narratives to frame or reframe a meeting in a POC centered way.

When I introduce a relationship building question, I often try to remind the group why we do this activity and relate it back to a larger goal.

It is also good to model the question and an answer. This helps people understand your instructions and a way to grapple with the question, especially if time is short.

Make sure to read this blog post for additional tips and thoughts about relationship building and ice breakers.

Relationship Building Questions to Get you Started:

  1. Share a creator of color that influenced your thinking? Creator of color – authors, actors, cooks and bakers, bloggers, musicians, artist, writers. Depending on the audience I sometimes narrow in on one genre, but I also don’t want to default to assuming everyone reads – authors, or consumes media in the same way.
  2. What is one thing stirring in you right now?
  3. Place based question, great for place based work such as schools, organizations doing place based work, work connected to histories – What does [this place – name] mean to you? What is a memory you hold of this place? What is a hope you have for this place or community?
  4. What is something you savor? Why is it savory in this moment?
  5. Who’s taught you or journeyed with you as you learned about justice?
  6. Think of a time you felt welcomed – how did that feel? What actions by others allowed you to feel this way?
  7. What is a spice or food that you identify with? How does it harmonize or complement with other foods from others in this group?
  8. Trust is an important part of our work; how do you see or would like to see trust building happening?
  9. Activity based question, this is a favorite of mine. When done right people really open up and share memories they might not have thought of otherwise, make sure to allot enough time for it. – Give everyone a penny or have them to find a coin. Tell them look at the year on the coin and share a memory or something they know about the year on the coin.
  10. What are you bringing and what do you hope to take from this space today?
  11. What is a superpower you bring to the space? How will you share it?
  12. Who is someone, maybe real or maybe in thought, you bring with you into this meeting today? Example: “I am bringing my great aunts because they, along with my grandma, knew how to throw a party and make people feel welcomed. Their Okinawan spirit came through.”
  13. What does a trusting relationship look like in the community?
  14. Thinking about the five senses – what sparks joy to one of your senses. Examples a joyful sight is a bowl of pretty fresh fruit, sound – tropical beach sounds from Hawaii where I grew up.
  15. “A name is a person’s most precious possession, a force unto itself.” – credit Kānakautomy (Instagram), What is the story behind your name?

Some additional notes:

Be aware of your group dynamics and where ableism, sexism, racism, etc. may show up in responses. Such as some of the food based questions might not be appropriate for every group, such as if there are people who can’t eat or are fasting for religious or other reasons.

If you have a larger group share out, remind people to only share their own stories unless they have permission to share from their partner(s). It is easy for people slip into sharing what others said, but as a facilitator it is important to create a space where people’s stories are honored and held in confidence.

Many thanks to people I’ve learned from, borrowed questions from, adapted questions from, or journeyed with as I’ve learned to become a better facilitator or holder of space and relationships together. Special thanks to Jondou Chen who writes amazing questions and I know some of these originated from him, and Amber Banks who wrote the original iterations and planted the seeds for trust building questions in here.

If you have a great question please share it. Email fakequity@gmail.com.


Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving helps to keep the blog ad-free, pay for back end cost, research cost, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe we’ll appreciate it.

Abby, Adrienne, Adrienne, AE, Agent001, Aimie, AlaynaAlessandra P., Alessandra Z., Alexa, Aline, Alison F.P., Alison P., Allison K., Amanda, Amber, Amira, Amy H., Amy H.N., Amy K., Amy P., Andie, Andrea, Angelica, Angelina, Ann, Ashlee, Ashlie, Avery, Barb, Barbara, Barrett, Becky, Brad, brian, Bridget, Brooke B., Brooke D.W., Cadence, Caitlin, Calandra, Callista, Cari, Carmen, Carol Ann, Carolyn, Carrie B., Carrie C., Carrie S., Caryn, Catherine L., Catherine S., Cedra, Celicia, Chelsea, Christina, Christine, Clara, Clark, Claudia, Claudia A., Courtney, Dan, Daniel, Danielle, Danya, Darcy, Darcy E., Deb, Denyse, Diana, Diane, Don, E., Ed, Edith B., Edith B. (2), Elizabeth, Elizabeth U., Emiko, emily, Erica J., Erica L., Erica R.B., Erin, Erin H., Evan, Francis, Hannah, Hayden, Heather, Heidi, Heidi H., Heidi N and Laura P, Heidi S., Hilary, Hope, J., Jackie, Jaime, Jake, JJanet, Jason, Jean, Jeanne, Jelena, Jen, Jena, Jenn, Jennet, Jennifer C., Jennifer M., Jennifer T., Jennifer W., Jessa, Jessica F., Jessica G., Jessica R., Jessie, Jillian, Jody, John, Jon G., Jon P., Jordan, Julia, June, Karen, Kari, Kate C., Kate G., Kate T., Kathryn, Katie B., Katie D., Katie O., Kawai, Keisha, Kelley, Kelli, Kellie H., Kellie M., Kelly, Kim, Kimberly, Krissy, Kirsten, Krista D.B., Krista W., Kristen, Kumar, Kyla, Laura T., Laura G., Laurel, Lauren, Laurie B., Laurie K., Leah, Lindsay, Lisa C., Lisa P.W., Lisa S., Liz, Lori, Lori N., Lyn, Lynn, Maggie, Maka, Maki, Marc, Mareeha, Marge, Marilee, Mark, Marki, Mary, Matthew M., matthew w., Maura, McKenzie, Meghan, Melissa, Melody, Meredith, Michael, Michele, Michelle, Mickey, Migee, Mike, Milo, Mindy, Miranda, Misha, Molly, Myrna, Nancy, Nat, Natasha D., Natasha R., Norah, Norrie, Peggy, PMM, Polly, Porsche, Rachel G., Rachel S.R., Raquel, Raquel S., Rebecca O., Rebecca S., Risa, Rise, Ruby, Ruchika, Sarah B., Sarah K.B., Sarah K., Sarah L., Sarah O., Sarah O. (2), Sarah R., Sarah S., Sarena, Sarita, Sean, SEJE Consulting, Shannon, Sharon, Shaun, Shawna, Shelby, Shelley, Skyler, Steph, Stephanie, Stephen, Su, Susan, Susan M., Susan U., Tallie, Tana, Tania DSC, Tania T.D., Tara, TerraCorps, Terri, Titilayo, Tracy, Tracy T.G., Tyler, virginia, Vivian, Will, Willow, yoko, Yvetteand Zan

If you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check fakequity.com for the most up to date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop.

I am writing from the ancestral lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small action to hopefully repair and work to be in more justice based relations.

Fall Reading Guide

Library at a Vietnamese owned coffeshop. A partnership between the public library, coffeeshop and a Vietnamese organization.

Today is Yom Kippur, one of the holiest of days in the Jewish faith. G’mar chatima tovah to our relations.

I’ve been putting this blog post off for a while. Other topics came up, but this week with rain about to hit the Seattle region hard it seems like a good time to share a fall reading list. Grab a few of these books and settle in to read, enjoy, reflect, and learn.

Why Books

There are many different ways to reflect and learn, books can often draw us into longer dialogues with ourselves than a TED Talk or an article. Many times books are often a gateway into understanding something differently and challenges our views of the worlds we know. I know from reading different books this summer I changed the way I think about different topics.

Almost all of these books are written by authors of color; I am unsure of the race of one author but including it since the topic of the book is POC. Reading diverse authors helps us to broaden our narratives and combat the single images of people we can create if we only consume mainstream media.

Please pickup these books from your local library or purchase them from Fakequity’s Bookshop.org affiliate link. The proceeds go towards purchasing books by POC authors for public schools with majority POC students. Or buy them from your favorite POC owned bookstore.

Young Adult and Graphic Novels

Ophie’s Ghost by Justina Ireland – I honestly picked up this book because I like the artist who did the cover art. The book didn’t disappoint! This historical mystery was a pleasure to read to my kid.

The Legend of Auntie Po by Shing Yin Khor (graphic novel) – This is a refreshing take on American tall tales. It breaks the myths and legends around Paul Buyan and rewrites them to include Asians and People of Color.

Prairie Lotus by Linda Sue Park – Another historical fiction book is a refreshing take on frontier life. If you read the Little House on the Prairie series as a kid and want something less racist give this book and the Birchbark House series by Louise Erdrich series a try.

The One Thing You’d Save by Linda Sue Park – Like the title says what is the one thing you’d save if you could only take one possession from your house? This story is told through poetry, and is a good one to reflect on our values. It can also open up a conversation about the current Afghan refugee community forced to leave with little physical possessions, migrants and immigrants fleeing violence in Latin America, or even historical events like the internment of Japanese Americans who were only allowed on small suitcase. Be careful with this conversation – I made my kid cry him after reading George Takei’s They Called Us Enemy and telling him he wouldn’t have been able to take all of his beloved possessions.

Sugar Falls: A Residential School Story by David A. Robertson – A graphic fictional memoir about the Indigenous/Native boarding/residential schools in Canada (and US).

Baby Books

Baby Speaks Salish: A Language Manual Inspired by One Family’s Effort to Raise a Salish Speaker by Emma Noyes – I was so excited to see this on the new book shelf at the library. I totally borrowed it despite not having babies around AND I put it on my summer book bingo card. We need to celebrate and promote language diversity and the preservation of indigenous languages.

Hi’iaka Battles the Wind (Hawaiian Legends for Little Ones) by Gabrielle Ahuli’I – This board book was at a Seattle Public Library Back to School fair. I picked it up and brought it home to read to my kid who is way beyond board books. The legend was worth sharing — so good. I am on the hunt for the rest of the series by this publisher and author.

Picture Books

I love picture books. No list would be complete without a few.

The Paper Kingdom by Helena Ku Rhee – In this story a young boy has to go with his parents to their night job cleaning an office. His parents spin a tale of who works there during the day. It is an important book for making visible workers who are often invisible in our daily lives.

The Shadow in the Moon by Christina Matula – Mid Autumn Festival is days away (Sept 19-21). This was a fun book to prepare for our mooncake eating.

Seeds of Change: Wangari’s Gift to the World by Jen Cullerton Johnson – With the environmental catastrophes of this summer brought on by climate change, it was nice to read and share a book about positive actions we can take to be more supportive of the environment.

Fiction

My sister, the serial killer: a novel by Oyinkan Braithwaite – I rarely read fiction but this book was a page turner. Bonus points for it being an international (not US) writer.

The Break by Katherena Vermette — I saw this title on Twitter and picked it up from the library. The author is Metis, Indigenous Canadian. This book is told through different characters narrating their chapters and building on each other. It is a family love story. In many ways it reminded me of Pachinko by Min Jin Lee.

Non-Fiction

Speak Okinawa by Elizabeth Miki Brina – There aren’t very many books focused on Okinawa or Okinawans, thus I was so excited to read this. The memoir gave me more insights into Okinawan migration stories to America and the nuances into Okinawan identities. BONUS Book: Okinawa no ohimesama no hajichi no densetsu = Okinawan princess : da legend of hajichi tattoos by Lee A. Tonouchi – this book is written in Pidgin English. For people from Hawaii or familiar with the dialect/language it feels like home when reading it. I read it to my kid and introduced her more to our Okinawan heritage.

The Body is Not an Apology by Sonya Renee Taylor – Carrie, frequent Fakequity contributor, has suggested this book to me for years. I’m glad I finally made the time to read/listen to it. It changed the way I think about autonomy and ownership overall, not just as it relates to body politics. If you get the audio version it is read by the author which always feels like a treat.

Cookbooks

I have a huge stack of cookbooks from the library. I may not cook much from them, but I enjoy the pictures and reading about the recipes.

Cook Real Hawai’i: A Cookbook by Sheldon Simeon – This book is mouthwatering ono (Hawaii word for delicious), if I could I would eat the book. The pictures and descriptions of food from Hawaii makes me homesick. Even if I don’t cook from it I eye-ate all of the food.

Xi’an Famous Foods: The Cuisine of Western China, from New York’s Favorite Noodle Shop by Jason Wang – I’m still reading my way through this book. I appreciated the author’s honesty about how hard restaurant life is.

In Bibi’s Kitchen: The Recipes and Stories of Grandmothers from the Eight African Countries that Touch the Indian Ocean [A Cookbook] by Hawa Hassan – Flipping through this book, I learned so much more about African cultures and their food. I liked the book so much I borrowed it twice from the library to keep reading it.

Please share your favorite reads! I’m always on the hunt for new books. Email fakequity@gmail.com or leave a comment on our social media pages.


Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving helps to keep the blog ad-free, pay for back end cost, research cost, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe we’ll appreciate it.

Abby, Adrienne, Adrienne, AE, Agent001, Aimie, AlaynaAlessandra P., Alessandra Z., Alexa, Aline, Alison F.P., Alison P., Allison K., Amanda, Amber, Amira, Amy H., Amy H.N., Amy K., Amy P., Andie, Andrea, Angelica, Angelina, Ann, Ashlee, Ashlie, Avery, Barb, Barbara, Barrett, Becky, Brad, brian, Bridget, Brooke B., Brooke D.W., Cadence, Caitlin, Calandra, Callista, Cari, Carmen, Carol Ann, Carolyn, Carrie B., Carrie C., Carrie S., Caryn, Catherine L., Catherine S., Cedra, Celicia, Chelsea, Christina, Christine, Clara, Clark, Claudia, Claudia A., Courtney, Dan, Daniel, Danielle, Danya, Darcy, Darcy E., Deb, Denyse, Diana, Diane, Don, E., Ed, Edith B., Edith B. (2), Elizabeth, Emiko, emily, Erica J., Erica L., Erica R.B., Erin, Erin H., Evan, Francis, Hannah, Hayden, Heather, Heidi, Heidi H., Heidi N and Laura P, Heidi S., Hilary, Hope, J., Jackie, Jaime, Jake, JJanet, Jason, Jean, Jeanne, Jelena, Jen, Jena, Jenn, Jennet, Jennifer C., Jennifer M., Jennifer T., Jennifer W., Jessa, Jessica F., Jessica G., Jessica R., Jessie, Jillian, Jody, John, Jon G., Jon P., Jordan, Julia, June, Karen, Kari, Kate C., Kate G., Kate T., Kathryn, Katie B., Katie D., Katie O., Kawai, Keisha, Kelley, Kelli, Kellie H., Kellie M., Kelly, Kim, Kimberly, Krissy, Kirsten, Krista D.B., Krista W., Kristen, Kumar, Kyla, Laura T., Laura G., Laurel, Lauren, Laurie B., Laurie K., Leah, Lindsay, Lisa C., Lisa P.W., Lisa S., Liz, Lori, Lori N., Lyn, Lynn, Maggie, Maka, Maki, Marc, Mareeha, Marge, Marilee, Mark, Marki, Mary, Matthew M., matthew w., Maura, McKenzie, Meghan, Melissa, Melody, Meredith, Michael, Michele, Michelle, Mickey, Migee, Mike, Milo, Mindy, Miranda, Misha, Molly, Myrna, Nancy, Nat, Natasha D., Natasha R., Norah, Norrie, Peggy, PMM, Polly, Porsche, Rachel G., Rachel S.R., Raquel, Raquel S., Rebecca O., Rebecca S., Risa, Rise, Ruby, Ruchika, Sarah B., Sarah K.B., Sarah K., Sarah L., Sarah O., Sarah O. (2), Sarah R., Sarah S., Sarena, Sarita, Sean, SEJE Consulting, Shannon, Sharon, Shaun, Shawna, Shelby, Shelley, Skyler, Steph, Stephanie, Stephen, Su, Susan, Susan M., Susan U., Tallie, Tana, Tania DSC, Tania T.D., Tara, TerraCorps, Terri, Titilayo, Tracy, Tracy T.G., Tyler, virginia, Vivian, Will, Willow, yoko, Yvetteand Zan

If you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check fakequity.com for the most up to date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop.

I am writing from the ancestral lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small action to hopefully repair and work to be in more justice based relations.