Belonging and Borders – Transatlantic Relationship Building

Cohort of people wearing professional clothes smiling in front of the GMF building.

The blog was on hiatus for a few weeks while I participated in the Marshall Memorial Fellowship hosted by the German Marshall Fund. This is a recap of some of what I learned. The fellowship is designed to increase transatlantic understanding. It was a privilege to travel to Washington DC, Berlin, Chișinău, Rome, Vatican City, and Brussels. I am indebted to the staff and donors who made the opportunity possible, to our city hosts for thoughtfully curating agendas, and to my travel mates for everything from challenge words to in-depth reflections.

Several weeks ago, I had a minor soul-crushing moment. It dawned on me that problems across the world are universally the same – privilege is privilege, power hoarding happens everywhere, and people without resources are struggling everywhere. The difference was I was in Europe having this realization. The soul-crushing was brief. I shifted my thinking to – if the problems are the same, the solutions are abundant. In another community someone has found a solution and together we can create a greater sense of belonging to solve problems.

Belonging

During my time in Europe, I kept coming back to the value of belonging. From government to government, person to person – leaders and advocates talked about how people need to feel like they belong for democracy to work. While in Brussels we visited NATO (North Atlantic Treaty Organization). The speaker mentioned how he wished they had worked harder to help Russia feel like they belonged. It was a side comment that stuck with me. When we feel we belong it is harder to be a bully.

In Berlin, we visited a high school and met with the students, almost all of them immigrants. When I walked into the school I felt like I was in my groove. Good schools create spaces of belonging and this was true here. The students shared so much about their dreams and how they want to create democracy.

While in Rome, we met with SVIMEZ, an organization working on the North-South divide. The North is more prosperous and the South has more disparities. I asked about how the organization is working with the North to understand a shared prosperity is in both of their interests. I inferred from the response when we understand each other it lowers resistance to change.

Borders and Walls

Borders and walls also featured heavily on our tour of cities. One of the most memorable stops was visiting the Berlin Wall Memorial. I vaguely remember the fall of the Berlin Wall as a kid. Learning about it as an adult brought home how delicate and fragile democracy can be. Across Berlin, there are reminders of where the wall once stood, along with reminders of the Jewish lives lost during WWII.

Obligatory shoe shot. Pavement marker “Berliner Mauer 1961-1989” The Berlin Wall ran through this spot.
Three stumble stones. These are small markers that showed where Jewish people may have lived throughout Berlin.

In today’s world, the conflicts in Ukraine and with Israel and Hamas show again how perishable our sense of belonging and safety can be. At the same time, democratic values are worth fighting for.

In Chișinău (Moldova) we met journalist Nata Albot who believed so heartily in fair elections she used her social media presence to explain the election to others. A free and fair election is necessary to building trust and a working democracy. Since Moldova borders Ukraine there is a palpable sense of urgency in joining the European Union. This was something I think many of us in the West take for granted, but I also now understand how quickly this can be eroded by chipping away at democratic values.

Tying this all together – Democracy and the value of relationships

When I interviewed for the fellowship, I had a feeling of imposter syndrome. As a kid growing up in Hawai’i, Europe was impossibly far away. As a kid traveling off-island or going to Disneyland was about as far as my imagination could take me. During the interview, I remember thinking “f-it, just answer the questions” authentically. I talked about how I see the value in building relationships to effect change and understanding. Proximity matters and I now understand how we need to build broader and deeper relationships to activate democracy and democratic values impact us all.

Democracy is built on breaking down boundaries and walls, creating a sense of belonging, mutual responsibilities and shared prosperity. We need to reach further than our own boundaries to find solutions. Belonging breaks down borders, relationships and proximity builds understanding and engagement – all of which leads to shared problem solving and a collective democracy.

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