Happy Hanukkah! Wishing you a warm and safe holiday season.

Group dynamics are interesting, especially for new groups that have to spend an intense amount of time together. Each group member brings their lived experiences with them and when done well everyone shares a sense of belonging. Time, money, and cultural and community values are important to understanding how groups work.

Below are questions for you to reflect on before (or at any point) entering a group. Think about the questions with a nod towards understanding your own race, cultural, and community values. Also, think about how your own values match or don’t match other cultural or community values. As an example, at many of the community events I attend it is acceptable to arrive a few minutes late. Rarely is there a hard start at the time announced. However, this sometimes clashes with the personal values of people from the same community who expect prompt starts. I respect both values; often as a host, I’ve had to navigate both values with careful wording of invitations, and making sure that late arrivals are still welcomed but we will have a prompt start.  

If it works for your group, you may want to surface some of these questions. Sometimes it is helpful to talk some of the values through so everyone hears each other’s beliefs, values, and expectations.

Time

What is your value or norm around punctuality and being on time? What about your community’s value on this?

How do you feel about schedules versus unscheduled time?

What are your values around deadlines – right away or need the pressure of a deadline? How does this work with others on the team?

How do you deal with time differences, literally and figuratively? Literally – time zone changes, daylight savings time, seasonal differences. Figuratively – the differences in how people value time (e.g. punctuality, giving appropriate notice, scheduling, etc.).

Money

What are your personal reflections on class values? How will you navigate them with people of other class status?

Paying and purchases in group settings: individual checks, split the check, one person host?

Budgets as guides or budgets are meant to be kept? Is it ok to move money within the overall budget? Who gets a say on spending?

Community and Leadership

What is the cultural norm about disagreements and conflict?

How does/will conflict resolution take place, formally and informally?

What are the gender norms and gender values? How does this balance with others in the group?

When is it acceptable to use technology (e.g. phones, laptops, etc.) and when is it not acceptable? (e.g. is it ok to use it in meetings, while in the group, etc.) Is there a technology divide (consider this from a disability, class — who can afford technology, age, etc.) perspective, and will the group navigate it?

When should rules be followed? When should they be challenged? When should they be ignored? How do others in the group or society feel about your approach?

How will you honor the traditions of the place you’re in? Are they the same or different from how others practice traditions? *Please also think about this question from an Indigenous perspective.

What are the cultural values of attire? How do they challenge or conform to society’s norms?

Is it socially acceptable to approach strangers or to move about alone? Does this hold true for everyone in your group, is it safe for everyone? *Think about this from the perspective of race, LGBTQ, gender, youth and seniors, etc.

---

Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving pays for back-end costs, research costs, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe I’ll appreciate it.

Adrienne, Agent001, Aimie, Alayna, Alessandra, Alessandra, Alex E, Alexa, Aline, Alison FP, Alison P, Allison, Amanda, Amber, Amira, Amy, Amy K, Amy P, Amy R, Andie, Andrea J, Andrea JB, Andy, Angelica, Angelina, Ashlie, Ashlie B., Aya, Barb, Barbara, Barrett, Betsy, Big Duck, Brad, Brenda, Bridget, Brooke B, Brooke DW, Cadence, Caitlin, Calandra, Callista, Cari, Carmen, Carolyn, Carrie B, Carrie C, Carrie S, Catherine, Chelsea, Christa, Christina C, Christina S, Clara, Clark, Courtney, Dan, dana, Danielle, Danya, Debbie, DeEtta, Denyse, Dennis, Dennis F, Diane, Don, Ed, Edith, Edith B, Eileen, Elizabeth, Emily, Erica J, Erica RB, Erin, Gene, Genita, Hannah, Hayden, Heather H, Heather M, Heidi and Laura, Heidi, Hilary, J Elizabeth, Jaime, Jake, James, Jane, Janet, Jelena, Jen C, Jen E,  Jen H, Jena, Jenn, Jennet, Jennifer, Jess, Jessica F, Jessica G, Jillian, Jody, John, Jon, Jordan L, Jordan S, Josie, Julia, Juliet, June, Karen, Kate, Katharine, Kathryn, Katie O, Kawai, Keisha, Kelly, Kiki, Kim, Kimberly, Kyla, LA Progressive, Laura, Lauren, Leah, Leslie, Lily, Liora, Lisa C, Lisa P-W, Lisa S, Liz, Lola, Lori, Lyn, Maegan, Maggie, Maile, Maka, Maki, Marc, Mareeha, Marilee, Mark, Matthew, Maura, McKenzie, Melissa, Melody, Meredith, Michael, Mickey, Migee, Mike, Milo, Mindy, Misha, Molly, Nat, Natasha, Nicole, paola, Peggy, PMM, Porsche, Rachel, Raquel, Rebecca, Robin, Sally, Sandra, Sarah B, Sarah D, Sarah H, Sarah KB, Sarah R, Sarah S, Sarita, Selma, Sharon B, Sharon Y, Shaun, Shawna, Siobhan, Steph, Stephanie, Steve, Su, Sue, Sue C D, Susan, T Wang, Tania DSA, Tania TD, Tara, tash, Teddi, Tim, Titilayo, Tracy G, Tracy TG, Venu, virginia, Vivian, Ward, Wendy, Willow, and ZanIf you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check fakequity.com for the most up-to-date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop. I am an affiliate of Bookshop.org where your purchases support local bookstores. I earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. The commission goes into purchasing books by POC authors or about disabilities to donate to high-poverty public schools.