Back in the 2000s and 2010s, diversity was the ‘in’ word. Organizations and companies set up diversity committees to ensure their company looked like a United Colors of Benetton ad – a multiracial group of people with different skin tones standing next to each other. It was a solid first attempt at breaking out of whiteness. Now we’re smarter than that and know that just throwing together a group of people doesn’t make them a cohesive unit, especially when putting together diverse adults.

We also know adding one person of color to an all-white group doesn’t change much. The power dynamics of the group will continue to favor whiteness. Having been that one POC in the room, I can also say it was often uncomfortable to have to bring up topics regarding race, who’s voices were missing, or other topics that went against the majority voice. For many POCs in those positions we know we need to disrupt the status quo, but it doesn’t mean we feel like we have security or belonging in that room. We need to be more thoughtful and change the dynamics of groups and rooms if we want to create deeper changes.

Socially Engineer Relationships

I’m a big fan of gently, but forcefully pushing people to get to know other people. If you think about a gathering you attended or an event you hosted with a group of people who didn’t know each other, what happened? I bet the people who know each other gravitated towards each other and the new people stood on the side or awkwardly moved about the room. As hosts and employers we need to do better at creating situations to integrate and force people to meet.

Recently, I met with a colleague who works for a large historically white-led and white-serving nonprofit. The organization is diversifying, but leadership and much of the staff, especially for the more tenured staff. My colleague is a POC and said while the organization is making changes it is hard to feel like she belongs there. The organization’s culture feels sterile and caters to whiteness.  

We brainstormed how to shift the culture of the organization to accepting POCs in the little ways she has the power to shift. We acknowledged it will be a long slog, that might be too slow for many of the POCs who have to work in it. This is also why leadership at all levels matters. We talked about ways she could influence her own team, and while others could poke and chip away at other parts of the organization.

In another example, I recently attended a small conference where it looked like many of the attendees knew each other from previous years. It was great to see so many enjoying themselves and reconnecting. That said, as a newcomer it was hard to break into the crowd and meet people. Having a sense of belonging takes more than throwing people into a reception room and providing them with drinks and appetizers. Socially engineering some forced ways for people to meet is helpful. It wasn’t until the end of the conference where we had to take several mini buses and vans and being stuck in there that I connected with people.

What to do…

Creating the feeling of belonging and inclusion take intentionality but aren’t hard. As a convener or host, you can do things like:

• Have name tags
• Assign seating or a way to force people to not sit with their friends, for online environments put people into breakout rooms  
• Provide conversation prompts (there are question banks on the Fakequity blog – here and here)
• Introduce people to each other
• Mix people up into different groups

For in-person office settings, having natural places where people gather is important. A kitchen table where people gather for lunch or snacks is a good place to start. Model using it and invite people to join you. I remember reading when Steve Jobs was building Apple’s campus, he wanted just one set of bathrooms in a central location to force people to bump into each other at that spot. He didn’t win that argument, but the idea is still true – people need places to organically grow relationships, synergy and belonging happen because of it.

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