Is it about the statement or the discussion?

Artwork — Words Stronger Together written in cursive. Drawing of multiracial people with no faces holding long colorful flowers. Birds flying above in front of a yellow circle. Artwork from Amplier Art by Nina Yagual.

3/21 — when I’m writing, is World Down syndrome day, a good day, like everyday to work to learn more and to dismantle abelism.

I’ve written about this before, making statements after big tragic events – mass shootings, riots, disasters, war and violence. There is a formula – something happens, it is all over the news, people have feelings, statements are made saying there are thoughts and prayers, some may even say what they are doing to address the problem, then life goes back to normal.

A few weeks ago, I had lunch with a longtime friend. He was lamenting about how his organization is paralyzed about whether they should issue a statement about the devastation in Gaza, and the war between Israel and Hamas.  There are deep emotions on both sides.

As we talked, I mentioned I rarely issue statements. I don’t believe in making statements without action, and rarely are the conflicts in a space where we can directly impact the outcome. I do care, and I understand how statements and continued political pressure from many sides can create momentum. For me though that isn’t the right place to put my energy. I choose to reserve my time and energy into actions within my sphere of control. For others, statements are an important piece to creating political pressure and building a movement – I respect activists and organizers who move in those ways.

It’s about the conversations

International conflicts are not within my sphere of influence or control. I can’t stop the wars in Ukraine or Gaza. I can’t stop the killing of Black people by police. I can impact and influence people who I know and have relationships with.

In the immediate aftermath of the George Floyd killing many people had raw emotions— hurt, unease, disbelief, anger, denial, etc. I was feeling it too. I checked in with my team to see how we wanted to address the moment. As an organization we didn’t want to make a statement, instead we leaned on our collective skills and decided to host affinity groups to help people process what they were feeling – a non-Black POC space, Black people’s caucus, and a white people caucus.

After the 2016 presidential election, we did something similar. I called a friend and asked her to donate time and talent to facilitating a space for people to move through their feelings about the election of Trump. My friend skillfully facilitated a conversation and activity to help people move through their angst around Trump and move towards solidarity building. We asked the participants to extend their commitments further by supporting a POC led organization by volunteering or making a monetary donation.

These conversations and continued action were right for us. We leaned into how we operated with the principles of Color Brave Space – putting relationships first, creating a space for multiple truths and norms, focusing on collective goals, be kind and color brave, and to learn in public. Several friends have commented these principles were the heartbeat of our gatherings and we leaned into it through times of collective grieving and anger – the principles kept us ground and allowed us to have conversations that challenged each other’s perspectives.

Maybe for some of the people who participated in our past conversations, their views are deeper and if they do write a statement it is now more kind, color brave, and acknowledging of multiple truths.

Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving pays for back-end costs, research costs, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you can re-subscribe I’ll appreciate it.

Adrienne, Agent001, Aimie, Alayna, Alessandra, Alessandra, Alex E, Alexa, Aline, Alison FP, Alison P, Allison, Amanda, Amber, Amira, Amy, Amy K, Amy P, Amy R, Andie, Andrea J, Andrea JB, Andy, Angelica, Angelina, Ashlie, Ashlie B., Aya, Barb, Barbara, Barrett, Betsy, Big Duck, Brad, Brenda, Bridget, Brooke B, Brooke DW, Cadence, Caitlin, Calandra, Callista, Cari, Carmen, Carolyn, Carrie B, Carrie C, Carrie S, Catherine, Cathy & David, Chelsea, Christa, Christina C, Christina S, Clara, Clark, Clark G., Courtney, Dan, dana, Danielle, Danya, Debbie, Dede, DeEtta, Denyse, Dennis, Dennis F, Diane, Don, Ed, Edith, Edith B, Eileen, Elizabeth, Emily, Erica J, Erica RB, Erin, Gene, Genita, Hannah, Hayden, Heather H, Heather M, Heidi and Laura, Heidi, Hilary, J Elizabeth, Jaime, Jake, James, Jane, Janet, Jelena, Jen C, Jen E,  Jen H, Jena, Jenn, Jennet, Jennifer, Jess, Jessica F, Jessica G, Jillian, Jody, John, Jon, Jordan L, Jordan S, Josie, Julia, Juliet, June, Karen, Kate, Katharine, Kathryn, Katie O, Kawai, Keisha, Kelly, Kiki, Kim, Kimberly, Kyla, LA Progressive, Laura, Lauren, Leah, Leslie, Lily, Liora, Lisa C, Lisa P-W, Lisa S, Liz, Lola, Lori, Lyn, Maegan, Maggie, Maile, Maka, Maki, Marc, Mareeha, Marilee, Mark, Matthew, Maura, McKenzie, Melissa, Melody, Meredith, Michael, Mickey, Migee, Mike, Milo, Mindy, Misha, Molly, Nat, Natasha, Nicole, paola, Peggy, PMM, Porsche, Rachel, Raquel, Rebecca, Robin, Ryan, Sally, Sally P., Sandra, Sarah B, Sarah D, Sarah H, Sarah KB, Sarah R, Sarah S, Sarita, Selma, Sharon B, Sharon Y, Shaun, Shawna, Siobhan, Steph, Stephanie, Stephanie J-T, Steve, Su, Sue, Sue C D, Susan, T Wang, Tania DSA, Tania TD, Tara, tash, Teddi, Tim, Titilayo, Tracy G, Tracy TG, Venu, virginia, Vivian, Ward, Wendy, Willow, and Zan

Thank you for subscribing. Please check fakequity.com for the most up-to-date version of the post. I often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. To subscribe — on the right sidebar (desktop version) is a subscribe box. To see what I’m reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop. I am an affiliate of Bookshop.org where your purchases support local bookstores. I earn a small commission if you click through and make a purchase. The commission goes into purchasing books by POC authors or about disabilities to donate to high-poverty public schools.