2022 Fakequity Omicron-endured Checklist

2022 Fakequity Omicron-endured checklist, pink background with gold stars

This week’s post isn’t the blog’s normal deeper dive into race or social justice issues. Like many others, I’m feeling the feels of 2022 COVID and omicron life. So instead of feeling sad let’s be honest about where we’re at and maybe poke a little fun at life too.

Give yourself one point for every item on the list you feel pertains to you.

  1. Frantically look up omicron symptoms on the internet. Wonder what alphabet officials will use next after they exhaust Greek letters. Better start learning the different alphabets and tones in Asian languages.
  2. Overbuying N95/KN95/KF94 facemasks. Is this the new toilet paper hoarding?
  3. The COVID19 rapid test you placed in your online cart are sold out when you’re ready to pay
  4. Barter for a COVID19 rapid test
  5. Your school pivots to remote learning. Bonus point if you discover your kid didn’t bring home a charger.
  6. Employers mandate travel with no disability accommodations
  7. Your phone app notifies you of a COVID exposure
  8. Says “This is crazy!” *Crazy should not be used as a synonym for dysfunctional (see ableism BINGO board)
  9. Someone you know whines about canceling their cruise or vacation to Mexico
  10. Someone talks about their temporary disability from working from home and too much screen time
  11. Sidewalk curb cuts are blocked by snow, rain, debris, unpicked up trash or recycling (postponed due to the weather), etc.
  12. You know someone who signed up to temporarily sub in a school – Hooray! Minus 1 point, Minus 10 if it is you doing the subbing.
  13. Ask on Facebook where to get a COVID booster. If you’re not on Facebook, you wonder if now is the time to reopen that dormant account to crowdsource an answer.
  14. FDA approves fourth or fifth or sixth booster
  15. Sees the headlines asking for blood donations and make an appointment – thank you
  16. Supply chain disrupts your order of books to prepare for MLK day, better order now before Juneteenth
  17. Watch TikTok vids and feel afraid for the next generation but you stay stuck watching TikTok for five minutes straight.
  18. Blindingly bright virtue signals by white folx who yielded a vaccine dose for gasp a POC
  19. Columbusing/discovering ethnic grocery stores because the local whole foods is out of stock
  20. Question if the amount of rain/snow/sun right now is related to climate change. Bonus point if you’re in the Pacific Northwest and experiencing the atmospheric river.
  21. Watched Encanto for the fourth time. Bonus if you have the We Don’t Talk About Bruno song now stuck in your head.
  22. Check COVID dashboards and marvel at the upward trajectory of the lines
  23. Ignore a school robocall, ignore a work email asking for something immediately since it is 2022 and everything is immediate but not really
  24. Deliver treats to your local school, they need a pick-me-up, minus 2
  25. Reschedule travel plans
  26. Reschedule a mahjong gathering (or other gathering)
  27. Walk the pandemic puppy, pet your pandemic cat, or feed your pandemic sourdough starter
  28. Wonder when Girl Scout cookies will be on sale again. Soon very soon! Find your favorite POC Girl Scout to place an order. If you don’t eat cookies, order them for a local school, they will appreciate the treats.
  29. Watch dog/cat/panda videos or this video of ostriches running on a city street (I’ve watched it multiple times)
  30. Register to Vote, update your voter registration address, or get someone registered. Minus five points if you do this. Seattle voters – be ready for the upcoming February ballot with two school levies on it.

1-10 points: You’re doing all right.

11-22 (22 because it is 2022) points: Hang in there. 2022 can only get better, right?

23+ points: Virtual hug to you. Go watch Encanto and look forward to eating Girl Scout cookies from the POC Girl Scout troop.

Special thanks to my almost twin Bao and KY for their help. Bao inspired this by creating a 2022 Blissful Pandemonium BINGO board that made many of us laugh and cry. Thank you to many others who inspired lines, including Carrie Basas who wrote the original Abelism BINGO where I stole and borrowed points from.

In 2022 I hope all of us find and keep friends as special as they are. We need each other and need to protect, care for, and love each other hard to come out of this pandemic together. This is the real lesson of this blog post, thanks for making it to the end of the post.

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I am writing from the lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small act to repair and work to be in more justice based relations.