Questions to Ask a Potential Date

Image: Black background with sign “I hate nothing about u”, red neon heart. Photo by Designecologist on

For a little fun here are questions you could, but maybe shouldn’t, ask a potential date. A friend and I came up with these as a bit of a joke, as always these are just for fun. You really shouldn’t take dating advice from me.

  1. What’s your type? Swipe right if they answer with any racist tropes.
  2. What does woke mean to you?
  3. Tell me about someone in your community that isn’t related to you.
  4. What is your favorite non-chain grocery store? Assessing if they know of any ethnic grocery stores (i.e. H Mart, Don Quiote, Mercato, Uwajimaya, etc.).
  5. What were your last five Halloween costumes? Run if they say Pocahontas,, Confederate anything, or Ninja if not Asian.
  6. Tell me about your home décor? Does any of it involve the word ‘Oriental,’ or ‘tribal’?
  7. Do you have any yard signs displayed? Why do you have them up?
  8. When presented with an unfamiliar name, do you a) add accents, b) try to make it sound Italian, c) ask the person how to pronounce it?
  9. Do you have any tattoos involving images or languages from a culture not your own? Please explain. Not an automatic dismissal, but we need to assess if there is any romanticization of another culture not your own.
  10. Dessert for breakfast, yes or no?
  11. What was the last book you read by an author of color?
  12. How often should we celebrate Black history? Only during Black History Month? Everyday?
  13. When was the last time you were in a space where you weren’t in the majority?
  14. What do you think of Black Lives Matters?
  15. Do you adopt a fake accent when talking to someone of another race?
  16. If I Googled your name what would I find?
  17. How do you communicate and behave with someone from a different race? How do you feel when you’re interacting with someone of a different race?
  18. What is something about your ethnicity or culture you want me to know?
  19. Describe yourself without talking about your job.
  20. Did you vote in the last election? Did you vote for any candidates of color?
  21. Do you believe in an income tax? (Tax policy has a lot of racial justice implications. Maybe save this for date #3.)
  22. Build the perfect meal for $25, it has to feed two, what would it be? (This may be a deal breaker meal.)

Thank you to our Patreon subscribers. At this time I don’t offer ‘extras’ or bonuses for Patreons. I blog after working a full-time job, volunteer and family commitments thus it is hard to find time to create more content. Whatever level you are comfortable giving helps to keep the blog ad-free, pay for back-end cost, research costs, supporting other POC efforts, etc. If your financial situation changes please make this one of the first things you turn-off — you can still access the same content and when/if you are able to re-subscribe we’ll appreciate it.

Abby, Adrienne, Agent001, Aimie, AlaynaAlessandra P., Alessandra Z., Alexa, Aline, Alison F.P., Alison P., Allison K., Amanda, Amber, Amira, Amy H., Amy H.N., Amy K., Amy P., Andie, Andrea, Andrea J., Angelica, Angelina, Ann, Ashlee, Ashlie, Avery, Barb, Barbara, Barbara B., Barrett, Becky, Beth, Brad, brian, Bridget, Brooke B., Brooke D.W., Cadence, Caitlin, Calandra, Callista, Cari, Carmen, Carol Ann, Carolyn, Carrie B., Carrie C., Carrie S., Caryn, Catherine L., Catherine S. x2, Cedra, Celicia, Chelsea, Christa, Christina, Christine, Clara, Clark, Claudia, Claudia A., Courtney, Crystal, Dan, Daniel, Danielle, Danya, Darcy, Darcy E., Deb, Denyse, Diana, Diane, E., Ed, Edith B., Edith B. (2), Eileen, Elizabeth, Elizabeth U., Emiko, emily, Erica J., Erica L., Erica R.B., Erin, Erin H., Evan, Francis, Gail, Hannah, Hayden, Heather, Heidi, Heidi H., Heidi N and Laura P, Heidi S., Hilary, Hope, J., Jackie, Jaime, Jake, Jane, JJanet, Jason, Jean, Jeanne, Jelena, Jen, Jena, Jenn, Jennet, Jennifer C., Jennifer M., Jennifer S., Jennifer T., Jennifer W., Jess G., Jessa, Jessica F., Jessica G., Jessica R., Jessie, Jillian, Jody, John, Jon G., Jon P., Jordan, Julia, June, Karen, Kari, Katharine, Kate C., Kate G., Kate T., Kathryn, Katie D., Katie O., Kawai, Keisha, Kelly S, Kelley, Kelli, Kellie H., Kellie M., Kelly, Kim, KymberliKimberly, Krissy, Kirsten, Krista D.B., Krista W., Kristen, Kumar, Kyla, Laura T., Laura G., Laurel, Lauren, Laurie B., Laurie K., Leah, Lindsay, Lisa C., lisa c., Lisa P.W., Lisa S., Liz, Lori, Lori N., Lyn, Lynn, Maggie, Maka, Maki, Marc, Mareeha, Marge, Marilee, Mark, Marki, Mary, Matthew M., matthew w., Maura, McKenzie, Meghan, Melissa, Melody, Meredith, Michael, Michele, Michelle, Mickey, Migee, Mike, Milo, Mindy, Miranda, Misha, Molly, Myrna, Nancy, Nat, Natasha D., Natasha R., Nora, Norah, Norrie, Peggy, PMM, Polly, Porsche, Rachel G., Rachel S.R., Raquel, Raquel S., Rebecca O., Rebecca S., Reiko, Risa, Rise, Ruby, Ruchika, Sandra, Sarah B., Sarah H., Sarah K.B., Sarah K., Sarah L., Sarah O., Sarah O. (2), Sarah R., Sarah S., Sarena, Sarita, Sean, Selma, SEJE Consulting, Shannon, Sharon, Shaun, Shawna, Shelby, Shelley, Skyler, Steph, Stephanie, Stephen, Su, Susan, Susan M., Susan M.x2, Susan U., Tallie, Tana, Tania DSC, Tania T.D., Tara, TerraCorps, Terri, Titilayo, Tracy, Tracy G., Tracy T.G., Tyler, virginia, Vivian, Will, Willow, yoko, Yvetteand Zan

If you subscribe to the blog, thank you. Please check for the most up-to-date version of the post. We often make grammatical and stylistic corrections after the first publishing which shows up in your inbox. Please subscribe, the sign-up box on the right sidebar (desktop version). To see what Erin is reading and recommended books check out the Fakequity Bookshop.