First, sending good thoughts to everyone rebuilding and surviving post-hurricanes — including Pureto Rico and Florida. Having grown up in Hawaii, I remember the devastation that comes from hurricanes. Please find POC non-profits or mutual-aid groups and donate to them. If you’re able donate blood at your local blood bank, please do. Many blood banks are providing mutual-aid to support Florida and other locales.

Years ago Vu, fellow blogger at Nonprofit AF, told me to be funnier. I haven’t talked to Vu in a long time, but with a whole lot of nonsense happening in the world I thought we needed some funny or at least to mock things a little.

This is how NOT to write your organization’s equity statement. I hope you have some fun writing a mock statement just for funsies.

PREAMBLE

We, [INSTIUTION/ORGANIZATION – INCLUDE ACRONOMYN], commit to placing the [NOUN or TARGET GROUP] in the [CIRCLE ONE – FRONT, MIDDLE, OR END] of the [SHAPE]. We’re committed to [VERB] diversity and inclusion for the entire [NAME SECTOR or ALL OF HUMANITY], and to maintaining an inclusive [PLACE] with equitable treatment for [NAME GROUP or ALL].

[INSTITUTION] envisions a [PLACE or TIME] where the [GROUP or ANIMAL TROUPE] has the [COMMUNITY VALUE] to fulfill its purpose and create a [CIRCLE ONE: JUST, CIVICLY ENGAGED, EQUITABLE, or VERDANT] world where [CIRCLE ONE: ALL, SOME, FEW, or NONE] can thrive. We believe that a commitment to diversity, inclusion, and equity is [CHOOSE: ESSENTIAL, FUNDAMENTAL, NECESSITY, or CENTRAL] to make this commitment a reality.

ACTION STEPS

We have identified [NUMBER] of top-line [CIRCLE ONE: ACTIONS, PRIORITIES, or BELIEFS] that reflect our commitment to [VALUE STATEMENT or SNARKY BUZZWORDS]:

Advancing [FILL IN] – We are committed to [ACTION STEP].

Recognizing [FILL IN] – We recognize [NAME INJUSTICE]

Addressing [FILL IN] – We must [VERB] to undo [NAME HISTORICAL WRONG]. Advocate for [FILL IN] – We will advocate for [FILL IN] with [NAME GROUP] because [VALUE STATEMENT].

[OPTIONAL – WRITE IN YOUR OWN.]

OUR COMMITMENTS

We commit to [VALUE] and [ACTIONS]. They will show up in our work by:

Providing [NOUN or FOOD] to staff, board, and partners.

Challenge our assumption [BELIEF or HISTORICAL EVENT] about what it means to be a [JOB POSITION]. We must [ACTION] and simultaneously humble ourselves to learn from [NAME GROUP or ANIMAL TROUPE].

Recognize and celebrate [ADJECTIVE, preferably ending in -ly] our wins around equity. Working to undo structural and institutional racism is [ADJECTIVE] work and we must celebrate our wins with [FOOD – no alcohol].

As a community of [NOUN] we believe in our [VALUES], our [NOUNS], and ourselves.

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I am writing from the lands of the 29 federally recognized and non-federally recognized tribes in now Washington State, including the Coast Salish people — Duwamish, Muckleshoot, Suquamish, Snoqualmie, Snohomish, and Native American organizations that have treaty rights and have been here since time immemorial. I give my thanks to the elders, Native and Indigenous colleagues and relations, and the land itself. Fakequity pays “rent” to Native organizations in Washington and Hawaii; a small act to repair and work to be in more justice-based relations.